Breakups are painful if you have to get over someone you loved and then lost.
But, remember when one door closes many other could open for you, it’s just how life goes. So, if you lose a loved partner who turned out not to be the right for you, it’s just because you’re meant to meet someone else. Someone better for you. The one and only!
Of course, there was a reason to have met and have been with that person. There is a reason why each person who is or was a part of our life has come to us. Usually, the reason is they have to teach us lessons we need to learn to become more mature and better individuals.
Unfortunately, these lessons come at a high price because endings are sad and hard. Love could lift us to the skies but could also be extremely painful. Few things feel worse than giving your heart and soul to a person, only to find that the person can’t give you even part of theirs.
However, as the Persian poet, Rumi once wrote:
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
That reminds us why a painful split-up can be a stepping stone to a lifelong love. The love that could bring light at our darkest moments and make us feel complete, happy and confident.
However, finding true love often happens after we’ve got lost in the wrong one because we’ve ignored the warning signs of failure, and have been shattered into countless pieces when it all has fallen apart.
That could happen to all of us. It’s because we’ve fallen deeply in love, with someone who isn’t a good match for us. We do it because we have so much love and affection to give, but we haven’t learned the lessons that we need to learn before we meet our lifelong partner.
Change doesn’t come easy, and we can’t have it by the mundane— it can only happen when we are all alone with our regrets. And especially when we face a terrible mistake, a painful split-up with someone we’d thought we were going to spend our life with.
Because no matter how much we wish this love had turned out a lifelong one, the only reason we needed it in our lives was to break our hearts and give us the lessons we had to learn.
Hence, there is no such thing as a mistake because the wrong choices make us discover more about who we are and how we understand and perceive love.
It’s a way to learn the difference between good and bad things in love. Because we’ve seen it go wrong. We’ve tried our hardest to make a wrong thing right, so we could know the next time whether we are on the right track or not.
And we shouldn’t blame ourselves for being that persistent about a relationship that didn’t turn out as planned. Our mistakes sooner or later end, usually bitterly, and sometimes even catastrophically. But that is precisely their purpose. To shake us to our core and question our perception and our beliefs. And set us on the right track of finding true love.
The love of our life. Our soul mate and life partner. The most special person. Our perfect complement.
Someone who could be by our side and love us just the way we are. A person to share our whole life with. And you need to be prepared when this person comes to your life.
You need to be able to understand if your loved one is this person or not.
So, if you don’t know what you truly want in a relationship, then something might always be wrong for you. Not because you don’t deserve love and appreciation but because you might not have enough experience to know what a good, healthy relationship is all about. What kind of partner you need by your side.
After all, love is not a fairy tale.
You need to know which things in your partner are acceptable and which aren’t. You also should be well aware of the fact that you need someone to stand by your side, be there for you always, and help you experience life to the fullest.
To get where you want to go, you’re going to have to rewrite the script of your life and find the best match for you. And, that cannot go without making mistakes. It’s the only way to understand who you are and what you want from your partner. What you expect them to give to you and what you can give to them.
No more trying to guess what some wants and struggling to live up to anyone else’s expectations while your own are not being met. We should not forget that the love of our life only comes when we are ready for it.
Very often we meet the right partner after we have been broken apart. After destroying the person who we thought we should be and started being who we really are. And the love of our life might be very different from what we’ve ever experienced so far.
It might come softly, or unexpectedly. It may come disguised as a friendship, or maybe in the form of a passionate romance. But, no matter what it looks or feels like, we should be able to recognize it.
And it’s because of that big mistake from our past that we know our new love is the one to stay for good.
So, don’t feel disappointed and don’t lose hope if you still haven’t found what you are looking for. It just means that the time to find your right partner hasn’t come yet. Therefore, you should accept things as they are no matter they are actually not positive. And you should try to learn from your mistakes without regretting them.
It’s very wise what Joan Rivers said:
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.