The classic “Nice guys finish last” cliché has been proven false many times.
There are many men who are genuinely “nice guys” and are either in loving and committed relationships or have no issues in finding success with women. Ask nearly any lady, and she’ll tell you that gentlemanly qualities definitely help men get plenty of good points. However, the nice guys’ cliché of losing out on women is actually often true.
This doesn’t happen because women rather be with a “bad boy” or because gentlemen are out of fashion, but rather because there are nice guys who have the following 7 painful characteristics:
1. They are not willing to make the first move
Now, we all know that modern society tells us that guys don’t really have to make the first move anymore. Many women out there are even getting frustrated of waiting around for guys to approach them, and they’d rather just approach a guy first and get it over with. But it’s alright to admit that most women enjoy it when a guy starts the ball rolling and makes the first move. After all, it’s a ton of pressure off a woman’s back! So whenever a man says, “Hey, can I take you out for dinner?” it can be a big relief. Nice guys, however really do hate making the first move. In their ideal world, they’d rather hang around and wait for you to confess your feelings for them.
2. They are inexperienced
This is a correlation rather than a causation.
Guys who have not been in a long term relationship and gone through the heartaches that come with it tend to overcommit. They take it too far and do too much. This can be a real turnoff for women. A lack of experience is obvious and it usually implies a number of unattractive qualities: dryness, nervousness, and a weak sense of humor are some common examples.
Ladies want a man who is confident and interesting. Not someone who is staring at them unendingly.
3. They are weak
There’s nothing worse than a weak man. After millions of years of evolution, a man’s purpose is to be the brave protector. Not the wimp who has turned into a vegan. It is what it is. Men are supposed to be hunters who provide for their family. So, naturally, women will be turned off by weak guys. They cannot help it, it’s millions of years of evolution.
There should be no messing around with these things. Men need to stay away from being weak nice guys and work on building confidence and inner strength. To that, women will respond differently.
4. They lack the qualities of a leader
The inability to lead means that a guy will always be at the back seat of life. He may want to be a leader, but never make the proper effort to take the initiative head-on. And he will never ask a girl out until it is too late and will then whine about how unfair life has been to him.
5. They are too clingy
Women need their personal space. The nice guy’s idea of a relationship involves being at the hip to the girl he is in love with. In their youth, couples often think that giving each other space means that they are growing apart. However, once we get older, a realization kicks in that we absolutely need our own space sometimes. Failing to provide a person with that space means that sooner or later you’ll drive each other crazy. The weak nice guy, however, does not see it that way. At first, his obsession with spending time with his girl may come off as sweet, but in time, she’ll just start to feel as if she’s being suffocated and eventually will run for the hills. Hence, clinginess is a big red flag!
6. They are easily intimidated
Weak nice guys get easily intimidated by stronger personalities. If an alpha male takes a liking to his girl and tries to flirt with her, the nice guy would not be able to gather the internal strength needed for taking a stand against it. Rather, he will cower away and mutter to himself in the corner of the room.
A mature guy who is truly ready dive into a serious relationship will be aware of his own flaws and actively work towards making himself a better man. And he’ll naturally seek a female who shares a similar mindset. However, these “nice guys” have not yet come to this point in their lives yet, and only God knows if they ever will. Some of them will definitely grow up and transform, but if you ask any grown woman, she will likely tell you that she still comes across guys like this from time to time. They just never seem to learn. They suffer from a bad case of the Peter Pan syndrome. They are unaware of how to treat a lady with the necessary respect because they are not even working towards improving their own lives. They haven’t set their priorities straight.
For a more in-depth psychological perspective on why nice guys often do finish last and what can be done about it check out the video below.
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