When you are into a relationship with a woman, you put down all your cards, without holding any trumps up your sleeve.
If you play faulty tricks on her if you dupe her into taking you for the man you are not, you’re just not getting how relationships work, or maybe you’re just not mature enough to tell the difference between an affair and a full-blown relationship.
If you want to be cocky and funny with her, that’s OK. If you want to challenge her from time to time, that’s even better. This strategy works especially well when you first start dating her and need to spark and maintain her initial interest in you.
Make sure, however, no to take this innocent game too far. Playing hard to reach from time to time may make you appear more interesting to her, but if you start to emotionally neglect her or give her false promises and hopes, you’ll soon see her in the arms of someone else.
What to do if you want your relationship to last more than 9 ½ weeks
In the erotic romantic drama Nine 1⁄2 Weeks (1986), film director Adrian Lyne offers a daring and intriguing insight into the brief yet turbulent relationship between the mysterious Wall Street broker John Gray (Mickey Rourke) and Elizabeth McGraw (Kim Basinger) – a divorced art gallery employee in her early thirties.
In the course of nine and a half weeks, John’s always playing games with Elizabeth’s mind, challenging her perception of reality and shattering her established morals. At first, she is profoundly intrigued and excited, but as the film progresses she grows tired of this constant feeling of insecurity and ultimately her true self falls apart.
So, if you do not want to see the nice woman beside you packing up her stuff and waving you goodbye at the door, do not be too mysterious around her. For one thing, if you constantly send her dubious text messages and bombard her with tongue-in-cheek statements, she’ll start questioning your true feelings for her and even your sanity.
Do not let her think that she’s your second choice
As I said above, when you start a relationship with a woman, you should go all in. You don’t invest your love or your time, you give them without expecting anything in return.
If you constantly measure the love you give her with a teaspoon, she’ll get to think that she’s your second choice and that you’re just waiting for the girl of your dreams to show up. That is, you must not use her as an expedient time fille while waiting for some better options to pop up.
If we go back to the film I mentioned above, from a purely psychological perspective Gray’s elusive behavior clearly shows his emotional deficiency and his fear of commitment.
And when he finally realizes what a nice girl Elizabeth really is, he immediately starts opening up about his past and his life. Regrettably, it’s too little, too late. Ultimately, he lost in his own game. If you recognize yourself in this film character, perhaps you’ve got to address and take care of your personal issues before starting a relationship with a woman.
If you do not want to see yourself in the same situation, don’t treat her as your “number two”. If you love this girl for real, you’d better show her the true depth of your love. In addition to her lover, try to be her partner, her best friend and her source of support and reassurance in life.
Do you really love her?
On the one hand, if you are truly into that girl, you’ll be effortlessly giving her back all the love and affection you are getting from her. You will not see the respect and appreciation you give her as a sacrifice on your part. Finally, if you truly love her, you’ll be ready to do whatever it takes to keep her by your side and make her happy.
On the other hand, if it just does not seem natural to you to treat her in the way I discuss above, then perhaps you’ve got to ask yourself if you really love her. Because if you did, you wouldn’t act as if you didn’t give a damn about her.
If you are not sure of your feelings for her, better give her a chance to move on with her life and find someone who’ll really care about her. Just stop deceiving yourself that you love this woman when you obviously don’t.
Worse still, you are letting her believe that she’s the one for you. And the longer it goes on, the harder it will be for you to reveal the truth to her at some point, and the more deeply she’ll be hurt inside when the moment of revelation comes.
If your relationship with that girl isn’t giving you the emotional fulfillment you’ve always wanted, do not be afraid to confess that to her.
There may be tears. There may be fits of hysteria and broken dishes on the kitchen floor. But when the dust settles, she’ll appreciate your frankness!
