Why is it that people get so angry when you start living your life for yourself?
It’s a great thing to be selfless and put others before yourself, but when people have lived under abusive or less than ideal circumstances, that selflessness can be pathological. People like narcissists often want you doing everything for them and nothing for yourself.
When you start doing things for yourself and not others, it can really piss them off. Why? Your service to them is like a drug they’re addicted to. Cut off the addict and they’re going to get aggressive about it! Why is it that people get so angry when you start living your life for yourself?
It may come as a surprise.
To you, the internal conversation about living for yourself has probably been building for years, but to an onlooker who lacks insight into your thinking, it may seem sudden and out of nowhere when you decide to start doing what’s best for you. They may think that you’re being selfish or rude.
Maybe it is a little bit selfish to start putting yourself first. But selfishness isn’t always a bad thing. If you’re always selfless and never selfish, are you really taking care of yourself? How can you truly be any good to anyone else if you aren’t any good to yourself.
Although it may come as a surprise to them, don’t hesitate to tell them the truth: that it is a personal decision that has nothing to do with them. If they keep fighting…
Sorry not sorry.
“Sorry not sorry” truly encapsulates how you ought to feel about it. I’ve said it many times before that “I’m sorry” are the two most powerful words in your vocabulary and you should only use them if you actually are sorry or if you simply must mend a fence between you and someone else. But here’s the thing: there’s no reason you should feel sorry about acting in your own best interests, and anyone who has an issue with it should sit in syrup.
You’re number one, but don’t be an ass about it.
It’s okay to put yourself first. You should be number one! But keep in mind why it is that you’re putting yourself first. You want to develop as a person, live a better, fuller life. You’re not doing it because you think you’re better than everyone else. So don’t rub it in anyone’s face.
There’s a lot that you can expect to change when you start putting your own needs first. Your self-care improves, you’ll likely be able to focus more on your work as well as leisure, and you’ll be able to build better relationships with people. There are some who might be mad at you for saying no, for putting yourself first, but those people probably won’t bring much value to your life.
Don’t be afraid to put your foot down and make your needs clear. This is your life to live, and you weren’t put on this Earth to live for anyone but yourself.