Have you ever met someone, and immediately thought, “wow, I like this person”?
There are people like that in our lives, instantly likable, approachable, and completely disarming. These people are fast friends, and quick confidants. Being likable isn’t about vanity or popularity, it is about being able to connect with people – almost instantly. How would that benefit you in life? How about a job interview? Sales meeting with a big client? First date? Meeting your significant other’s parents for the first time? These are all situations where being likable is a huge bonus, and here are some way that you can instantly make yourself more likable.
Having a sense of humor can almost seem like a genetic trait; some people have it – some people don’t. No matter what your situation is, laughing and being relaxed can go a long way. If someone tells a joke, go with it, don’t do something awkward like point out the obvious aspects of the joke, or try to correct a punch line, just laugh, and roll with it. Even if something isn’t funny, don’t point it out – just move on. Having a sense of humor isn’t just about being funny yourself, it is about seeing the humor in other people and appreciating it.
2. Accept Others Like they Are
Likable people are far from judgmental, that’s one of the main reason they are likable. Accept people for who they are, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Part of being likable is being able to identify with people no matter what, and accepting them on many different levels.
3. Give your Full Attention
This is key, people want to know they matter. Likable people don’t have conversations out of the corner of their eye while farting around on their cell phones, they look you in the eye and make you feel like you are the only thing in their world. This is especially crucial around new people. If you’ve just met someone making them feel “blown-off” by not giving them your attention can lead to an irrecoverably bad first impression.
4. Be Confident in Yourself
If people sense weakness, they immediately hold you in lower regard than they would if they sense pure confidence. Confidence is not only admired by others, it’s found to be extremely attractive to the opposite sex. There is a very defined line between cocky and confident, though. It is a line that once crossed, is almost impossible to retreat back to. Knowing you are great is one thing, telling everyone how great you are is quite another.
Listening to others is the number one way to endear yourself to others. Like I said earlier, people want to be heard and have attention paid to them, so by actually focusing on what someone is saying, instead of just hearing words come out of their head, goes miles towards someone liking and connecting with you.
6. Make Others Feel Good About Themselves
Likable people make you feel good about yourself, so to be likable – you have to make others feel good about themselves. If someone comes to you with a problem, don’t insult them for making mistakes, empathize with them, and help them to correct the mistake. Be complimentary, even flattering. I’m not saying you have to go full-blown “brown noser”, but pointing out little things like someone outfit, or their hair can also go miles towards instantly being likable.
7. Be Touchy (To an Extent)
Likable people don’t shy away from contact. From a firm handshake, to a pat on the back little contacts break down barriers between people. Now I’m not giving you an excuse to be creepy or get gropey – this is another fine line that once crossed is hard to come back from. Don’t be afraid to pat someone on the arm if they make a funny joke, or putting a hand on someone’s shoulder to get their attention instead of yelling at them in a crowd. It’s little subtleties that make people comfortable.
8. Don’t Seek Attention
This is a key to likability. Let the spotlight fall on you naturally. Like I said earlier, likability has nothing to do with popularity. If you are likable, people will naturally want to be around you. The harder you try to sing your own praises, the more no one will listen to you. Let people make their own decisions about you based on your actions, and I promise you’ll find that people will find you more approachable. Humility can be just as sexy and admirable as confidence.