Believe it or not, the best thing to do when a man pulls away is to let him go.
Don’t chase him. Don’t beg him to stay. Just let him go.
To understand why giving him space is the best thing you could do, you must first apprehend what does it mean when a man pulls away. It would be quite convenient if there were only one reason for this unusual behavior. But in reality, guys could have various motives to choose to distance themselves from their partners.
Here are the 3 most common reasons why men pull away:
1. They feel as if their freedom has been taken away.
Men are not so difficult to understand. The main thing you should know is that they value their freedom more than anything. Once your partner feels as if you are taking his independence away, he would instantly change his attitude towards you. The sweet little compliments and the romantic gestures you are used to will suddenly disappear. Instead of giving you the world, he will give you the cold shoulder and will punish you with silence.
If this happens in your relationship, try to think about which part of your behavior might have made him feel oppressed. Have you been trying to control him? Are you pushing him a little too much? Be honest with yourself and find out what makes him feel as if you are trying to take away his freedom.
2. They are forced to choose between themselves and you.
When a man feels pressured to choose between himself and his partner, he gets frightened that he might lose himself in the relationship. He thinks that the feeling of self-assurance he has might slip away. So, to protect his identity, he might pull away.
Truthfully, compromising is key when it comes to romantic bonds. Getting what you want shouldn’t be more important than sustaining a healthy balance between you and your significant other.
3. They can’t stand your nagging.
Okay, this one may be a bit rough, but it is true. Men truly hate when their other half is constantly making them feel guilty for doing things wrong. As they say, if a man says he will do something, he will do it. No need to remind him every six months.
Jokes aside, if you are always criticizing your man, you are making him feel as if nothing he does is right. In a way, you make him question his worth. So, pulling away would be his way to tell you that he has had enough.
So, what to do when he pulls away?
Should you chase him? Should you show him how desperately you want him back? Absolutely no!
What you need to do is give him some space. Stop contacting him for a while. Let him know you are not going to chase him. This way, you will be able to take control of the situation and leave the ball in his court.
Although you cannot control his reactions, you can control yours, and that’s just what you need. Instead of trying to change a man, better try to focus on yourself and invest your energy into your personal growth. If you push him too hard and insist on changing his whole personality, he might distance himself even more.
So, instead of risking making him want you out of his life, try to take the wheel of yours. By doing so, you will show him that you will be just fine on your own and your self-worth does not decrease with his absence. You will let him know that you have dreams to turn into reality and goals to reach that have nothing to do with him.
Sometimes, when we are in a couple, we tend to forget that we have our own unique identity. We lose ourselves in the relationship, believing that we could be happy only when we are with our partner. But your happiness shouldn’t be someone else’s job. If you cannot be content on your own, how can you be happy with someone else?
How to increase your worth after he pulls away?
First and foremost – don’t beg him to stay. If he is not able to see what a treasure you are, maybe he shouldn’t be in your life. Or maybe he just needs a little time to appreciate you. But he won’t be able to do it if you seem desperate for his attention.
If you want to preserve your value and make him regret he ever wanted to leave you, you must first realize that you don’t need anyone else to make your life feel wholesome. This depends entirely on you and on your own decisions. So, make sure you don’t forget about the strong, independent, intelligent woman that you are.
And if you truly want him back, grant him some time to start missing you. Give him the space he needs to reevaluate his feelings. Let him deal with his negative emotions on his own. Sooner or later, when he realizes you might slip away, he will be motivated enough to pursue you.
On the other hand, he might come to the conclusion that you two don’t belong together. Either way, you win. If he starts pursuing you, you will have the chance to revive your relationship and make it much stronger than it ever was. In case he chooses to leave for good, you will be able to focus on yourself and give yourself time to find the one who is going to treat you the way you deserve, without doubting their feelings for you.
When he pulls away, let him go. Whether he comes back or not, make sure you never doubt your self-worth with or without a significant other.