Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
When you first started dating, your partner spoke about you as if you were the best thing in their life. They complimented you, supported you, and said you made them proud. However, the deeper you fell in love, the more they let their true colors show. Gradually, they began to control you by subtly manipulating you. Initially, you paid no attention to this as you were too in love to see it. As time went on, their abuse became more evident. They no longer made you feel loved or supported. Instead, they pointed out your flaws, criticized you, and made you feel inferior.
Simply put, they made you feel unworthy of love.
By constantly criticizing you, they made you feel like you were not good enough for them. While some of you may have been implicitly told that you are unworthy, the rest may have heard it loud and clear: “You are worthless”, “You do not deserve to be loved”, or “You should be grateful that I love you.” When we hear such things from the one person that we love, we begin to blame ourselves. What is worse, we begin to believe that maybe, we really are unworthy of love.
It is only when you break free from this abuse that you will see the truth.
You are worthy and you are more than enough. The abuse you were put through is not your fault and you are not to blame for the pain you felt. Instead of feeling worthless or ashamed, you need to show yourself the love and kindness which you were not given. Eventually, you will become the person you once were — only even stronger. Then, you will understand that you were never the one to blame. When you look at your relationship retrospectively, you will be able to see exactly how you were manipulated and abused. You will see that it was never your fault at all.
