You are not obligated to fix someone and ignore your own happiness to help them feel better about themselves. Remember that.
Love should make you shiver when you hear your significant other’s name. True love should make your soul shine with the light of a million fireflies. Being in your loved one’s arms should bring you peace and harmony. Holding your partner’s hand should excite every single cell of your body. Being in love should encourage you to fight against all odds to keep your other half by your side and share a lifetime with them.
Acceptance, empathy, and commitment should be the foundation of any relationship.
But acceptance doesn’t mean tolerating toxic behavior. Empathy doesn’t mean ignoring your own wellbeing. And most importantly, commitment isn’t about selflessly giving your time and energy away to someone who isn’t willing to do the same for you.
No matter how much someone tries to convince you they love you, they should never force you to turn into their personal therapist. No one has the right to take advantage of your kind soul. It is not your job to bear someone’s toxicity, even if they claim this helps them feel better. You are not bound to fix anyone but yourself.
Sadly, nowadays many relationships are built on codependency. The kind that gives one of the partners the power to manipulate the other one by using their energy to fix the emptiness in their own life. The kind that forces you to turn your back on your friends and family, so all of your attention could be only for your significant other. But if that special someone makes you forget who you are and lose touch with your own self, do they truly love you?
If you take a step back and take your time to process this, you will inevitably realize that it was never your responsibility to fix anyone.
Even if you believed they loved you with their whole heart, they never had the right to play with your emotions and hurt you, only to feel a little better about themselves.
Sure, there is always some pain in romantic relationships. Love is not a fairytale where the princess finds her prince, and one magical kiss fixes all of her problems. Love is not an Ed Sheeran song that sounds so beautifully melodic it makes you wish he was singing about you. There are always a few tears, a few emotional wounds, and a few hurtful words you never meant to say. But that’s the beauty of it. Love makes you work through all the issues and pain and helps you grow even stronger.
People should be brave enough to face their demons on their own. They shouldn’t rely on someone else to fight their battles. They should gather the courage to push through life on their own.
Moreover, they need to understand the essence of feeling complete on your own. If you haven’t reached that state yet, you would never be able to be happy with and for someone else. You would never be able to unconditionally love another being until you learn how to love yourself. You would never be able to contribute to someone else’s happiness if you aren’t at peace with your own self.
Hopefully, one day you would see through this and realize that your heart cannot take responsibility for someone else’s void.
You cannot make someone happy if you don’t take care of yourself first.
And if you let this someone force you to give up on yourself to help them feel better, you will never be able to feel good in your own skin.
Some might say it sounds selfish and rude, but you have your own life to care for. You have your own world to keep the balance of, and your own journey walk. Your true love will walk alongside you and will grow with you, not block your way. Let that sink in.