Is the intimacy in your relationship real or fake?

Intimacy can represent different things for different people.

It is a complex mixture of sensuality, physical attraction, and soulfulness. Some describe it as a connection in which two people feel safe, relaxed, and loved by one another. Others believe it requires physical touch.

The truth is, intimacy is unique to each individual.

We all feel, perceive, and see differently. However, there are a few fundamental components of true closeness. Here are four of them.

1. Physical intimacy.

Oftentimes, physical attraction is the most obvious sign of intimacy. A smile, a flirty wink, or a sensual kiss can be the beginning of an intense physical connection. However, it doesn’t always rely on touch. Sometimes even a look at someone who attracts you can trigger an emotion of physical desire.

2. Emotional intimacy.

Such kind of closeness can be established when your emotional needs are being met by your partner. You build emotional affinity when your significant other accepts you for who you are and genuinely cares about you. Where there are trust and acknowledgment, there is also a deep emotional connection.

Moreover, emotional intimacy is about being authentic, open, and empathetic with one another. It requires a relatively high level of emotional intelligence as well. When a vulnerability is met with compassion and emotional support, you create true closeness in your relationship.

“Intimacy transcends the physical. It is a feeling of closeness that isn’t about proximity but of belonging. It is a beautiful emotional space in which two become one.”
– Steve Maraboli

3. Intellectual intimacy.

When the initial physical attraction fades in a new relationship, partners sometimes discover that they don’t really have much in common. This is a red flag that they haven’t yet established a significant mental connection. Being bonded on an intellectual level means being able to talk about whatever topic interests you, and to discuss each other’s viewpoints without being judgemental. Intellectual intimacy is another way to click with your partner in a non-physical way.

4. Digital intimacy.

In the times we live in, people fall in love via video chats and dating apps more often than going to actual dates. Virtual interaction became the new generations’ main way of communication, and it definitely affected the way we love. Ever since online dating became a thing, the game has completely changed. People date over Facetime, text instead of talk, and send cute emojis rather than writing whole sentences. But along all that, they also create intimate bonds and sensual affection to one another. Of course, the digital connection is being enhanced by IRL meetings, but this doesn’t mean online chemistry isn’t real.

The truth is many people believe that communication is more effective in person. However, they can’t deny that resolving a conflict, for example, can be much easier done via text. Sure, this may not be the most effective way to do so, but if it actually works, it could prevent further complications.

Whether in person or online, when we catch feelings for someone new, we often overestimate how much we actually know about them. That’s because we tend to fill in the gaps with idealizations that suit our current needs and desires. Unfortunately, this false sense of intimacy is a huge dealbreaker for many couples.

Frankly, not many people understand that intimacy is not a destination but a whole ongoing journey.

A deep physical and emotional connection with someone cannot be built overnight. Such closeness is not about who you let kiss your lips and touch your body, but who you let near your soul and into your heart.

Overall, intimacy is the act of deeply understanding someone and feeling understood by them on every level possible. It’s not purely physical, nor only emotional. It’s a wild combination of sensations that make you feel like you can dive into each other’s souls.

Have you established true intimacy with your partner?

What does closeness mean to you? We would love to see your opinion in the comment section!

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