I’m not afraid of being alone. I’m afraid of being in a toxic relationship

Why is it that we prefer to stay in dysfunctional relationships rather than moving forward on our own? Are we too afraid to be alone, or do we fear the unknown that inevitably follows after a breakup?

Nowadays, millions of us sacrifice our own happiness without even realizing it. We choose to stay in a couple with someone who disrespects us, mistreats us, and takes us for granted, only because we are afraid to be left on our own. We settle for someone who does not deserve us, only because we don’t know if we could ever find someone who does. The worst part is that we prefer to go through a tremendous amount of pain and disappointment instead of standing up for ourselves and choosing to seek true happiness.

But what really makes us stay in toxic relationships?

The reasons why people choose to stay with toxic partners are countless. The excuses we use to explain why we do it are even more. Perhaps some of the most common ones are fear of loneliness and deep-instilled insecurity that we might never find anyone who would treat us the way we deserve, or at least better.

In our minds, finding someone who would fall in love with our flaws and will appreciate us for who we are is nearly impossible. Since we have spent so much time, energy, and love on a relationship that does nothing but hurt us, we don’t seem to assume that things could be better. Eventually, we even stop believing we deserve better.

And because we are too afraid to pursue a future where we feel loved and fulfilled, we choose to stay in a present where we feel anxious and insecure, yet somehow comfortable. We feel comfortable because even though the good days are much fewer than the bad ones, we know what to expect. We are familiar with the pain our toxic partners’ behavior makes us feel. This knowledge gives us a sense of certainty, which, in a twisted way, gives us peace in the uncertain world we live in. Or at least that’s what we tell ourselves.

Why do toxic relationships make us question our self-worth?

All these negative thoughts about not deserving anyone better and not being enough even for the wrong one are seriously damaging our mental health. They make us feel unworthy of love. This suffocates us. It destroys our self-esteem to the point where we accept any kind of treatment, only to be called someone’s other half.

Somehow, we refuse to believe that we could be better on our own, even if our partner is toxic as hell. Somewhere down the line, society made us believe that being independent and handling life by ourselves is not good enough. We must be in a relationship – otherwise, others would consider us undeserving.

Or maybe, our partners are so manipulative and controlling, that they succeeded in getting under our skin and making us hurtfully dependent on them. They made us believe we would be nothing without them. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Why should we NOT be afraid of being alone? 

Being alone is better than being in a dysfunctional relationship. Read this over and over again until it sinks in and you truly understand it. Because once you realize you are much better on your own than under the influence of a toxic partner, you will finally have the chance to rediscover yourself and pursue the things you truly love. Once you set yourself free from the one who makes you feel unworthy, you will remember who you are.

When you find the strength to leave the one who puts you down more often than they lift you up, you will be able to focus on your future. You will have the opportunity to grow into the person you have always wanted to become. You will find the motivation to work on becoming the best version of yourself. Having high self-esteem and believing in your remarkable potential will no longer be a distant memory.

And as you are slowly but steadily achieving your goals and making your dreams come true, you will eventually attract the right person, who will appreciate you as you are. This special someone will admire your ambition and inspire you to never give up on your aspirations and yourself. They will accept you, respect you, and love you the way you always knew you deserve.

But even if it takes a while until you meet that someone, you will have this time to reconnect with yourself and focus on the things that make you glow. You will have the freedom to live life by your own rules, not having to follow someone else’s lead.

Don’t be afraid to be alone. Be afraid to stay in a hurtful relationship. 

Being alone for a while will remind you of all the things that make your soul shine and give you the time to go after them. So, even on your own, you will be a step closer to pure happiness.

When you are alone, you are free to be yourself. When you are with someone who constantly puts you down, you feel worthless. Which scenario sounds better?

We may be social creatures, but we also need some time on our own. And while we are alone, we can invest in our personal growth and wellbeing both mentally and physically, which is impossible while in a toxic relationship.

So, please, let go of the one who poisons your life and makes you feel horrible about yourself. Walk away from someone who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are. Face your fear of loneliness with grace, and in time, you will realize that this was the best thing you could ever do for yourself.

You have the right to love and be loved unconditionally. And if being alone for a while will help you understand this, every single second will be worth it.