I cry not because I am weak, but because I am sick of having to be strong all the time
I am at my limits. I am tired of feeling the need to be endlessly strong.
My body, my heart, and my soul feel an indescribable sense of exhaustion.
I am sick of pretending that everything is alright and I can no longer keep on pretending that I have it all under control.
I have always had this feeling that somehow I don’t have it in me to achieve all of my goals. At least not on my own. I have always looked up to strong and independent people, but I have never thought I would become one of them. And here I am today, walking among them.
But I believe I have reached my limits.
I held on for too long. I’ve been strong for everyone around me and for myself. And while I was trying to keep myself from falling, life was throwing more weight at me, while taking all the things I loved away from me.
I need to hit the reset button.
I had forbidden myself to cry. I feel like I am not allowed to break down because everyone expects me to be strong all the time. They have become used to it because I’ve never shown my vulnerable, soft side to the world.
And that’s the core issue. Because they don’t think I can bend for anything. They believe I’ll be fine no matter what life throws at me. That I have solutions for everything – after all, I am strong and independent.
But the truth is, I am hiding so much inside me.
When I am totally on my own, I sometimes cry myself to sleep because I am so tired of it all. I don’t have the strength to be the rock that everyone keeps holding onto.
I, just like every other human being out there, need someone to be there for me when I’m at my weakest. I need someone to hear me out and hug me. Someone who will listen and understand my struggle.
I want to stop having to wear this ever-smiling mask.
I want to be able to show my weak side without being judged. I want to have someone by my side… Someone I can rely on for a change…
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