Let’s admit it everybody has narcissistic habits. Some brag about professional success, others post personal photos online, some buy expensive things to demonstrate they’re well off and so on.
Then how to tell who’s a real narcissist and who’s just bragging ?
Science may give an answer to this question as there exists an officially recognized Narcissistic personality disorder.
This is a mental condition which consists of being full of self-importance, having a permanent need for extreme attention and domination over others, a tendency to build problematic relationships, and almost no understanding for other people’s feelings.
Narcissists tend to be self-sufficient, think they’re the best and expect people to see their superiority too and treat them accordingly. Nevertheless, such people’s self-esteem is fragile. These individuals couldn’t stand critiszm or admit mistakes
They exhibit these characteristics when in a relationship as well. As a result, their partner is lonely and misunderstood.
Can narcissists love?
These individuals can feel attraction to someone but this isn’t true love. It’s falling for them. The problem is they are deprived of essential qualities which are necessary to love another human being. Consequently, they can’t build a deeper relationship with the other person. On top of, that there’s always a personal interest that lies behind the narcissist’s romantic feelings.
All this is sad but true and the 9 facts outlined below prove that narcissists are not capable of loving someone else (except themselves.)
These people expect the rest of the world to be perfect – mostly their family or friends. But if someone else outstands them they might feel angry and envious. As stated before they’re insecure; So here’s a serious dilemma. The narcissist’s significant other has to meet their requirements for perfection. But, if they do the narcissist could feel envious and start underestimating their partner’s hard work or efforts.
2. Pretend to care
In the first months you’re dating, the passion is strong so he or she could act as the most loveable individual. But as times goes by you’ll notice that they started ignoring you and put themselves first. Finally, they might not care about you at all unless it makes them look bad in someone else’s eyes.
3. Emotionally unstable.
They’re emotionally unstable. That’s why, their desires and aims constantly change, and their decisions aren’t final. Sadly their unstable personality is the reason to leave many partners shortly after they’ve started a relationship.
4. Don’t respect anyone else’s personal space.
They are much like 3 year-olds who do what they wish. So the narcissist’s partner should be ready – his/ her boundaries won’t be respected but will often be abused instead. Sadly being obsessive or suffocating the one you’re supposed to love is not love at all.
5. The narcissist never realizes the pain they cause.
Nothing could make him/her understand how toxic their character is as these people only care about their opinions or emotions. Although narcissists may claim to understand the pain others are going through, that’s not true.
6. Fears they hide
What scares them may vary, but their biggest concern is they could be abandoned. That’s why narcissists hardly ever believe others and act jealous of their partners. And, that isn’t true love.
7. Many are affected by anxiety.
On top of that, they project it onto family or friends. All this is an attempt to transfer the problem to the loved ones so the narcissist could feel normal. But that’s impossible. Narcissists live on the sad emotions of others and are the happiest if someone else’s anxiety and distress are growing. This means they’re incapable of loving and forming normal relationships.
8. Think only about themselves
Partners who are truly in love should think about how their significant other feels or what makes him/her happy. Sadly a narcissist wouldn’t bother with such questions. Like stated before, they’re unable to understand someone else’s feelings let alone make sacrifices or think about their actions’ consequences.
9. Incapable of loving
The lack of compassion and the constant need of self-protection makes them unable to love or form emotional bonds. These troubled people just can’t walk in anyone else’s shoes. They’re emotionally blind and unable to make real friendships or find a lifetime partner.
Some Final words on loving a narcissist:
They’re charming and could woo better than anyone who’s capable of loving you. But remember – they don’t seek true love. What they need is to torture mentally and emotionally someone. So, in case you are too close with such an individual, you’d better cut the cord with them as soon as possible.