Sometimes, the strongest people hide the deepest emotional wounds. The ones with the widest smiles have experienced the most hurtful life lessons. They cover their true emotions and their pain because they feel no one would understand what they are going through.
Often, we can’t even see the agony in those people’s eyes. But if we dig deeper, we will realize that their smiles only disguise the bitterness and all the heartaches they have suffered.
Here are 8 painfully relatable things only someone who is hiding such internal emotional pain would understand.
1. You constantly overthink every little thing.
Oftentimes, you feel like you’re trapped in your own thoughts. Your mind has become your prison. A million things are going on in your head, tangling and crossing each other’s paths, making you feel helpless at times. You are in constant conflict with yourself. This inner war in your headspace is killing you. That’s why you cannot focus on just one thing because you always overthink every little aspect of what’s going on in the moment, and what caused the situation you are in.
2. You try everything to ease the pain.
As you’re still in your right mind, you try not to give your soul away to some nasty vice. However, when the pain gets unbearable, it becomes extremely difficult to avoid it, and you just give up. In times when you have no one to support you but yourself, you simply cannot handle all this emotional torment. That’s when you start behaving recklessly, and you adopt many unhealthy habits. And all because you feel helpless being alone in the face of all the pain you’re going through.
3. You try to keep your mind occupied.
You really try your best to keep yourself occupied. Perhaps that’s why people around you see you as an active and productive person, but in reality, you’re doing it all just to keep your mind off of the emotional anguish you’re feeling. You’re trying to distract yourself from the ongoing inner war that makes you feel mentally exhausted.
4. You’re afraid of being honest.
Honesty scares you because this means you have to share with someone how you truly feel. The last thing you want is to be pitied because of your mental struggles. You want people to view you as a normal, happy, and carefree person. That’s why you prefer to cover your pain behind a fake smile and act as if everything in your life is going well. And every time someone asks you if you’re okay, you automatically answer with “I’m fine.” after which you quickly change the subject.
5. You have mental breakdowns when you’re alone.
Most of the time you just bottle up your emotions, and you pretend everything is going well. However, when you finally get to spend time by yourself, you just break down because you can’t take this burden anymore. Every painful thought and every hurtful emotion starts pouring out of you like a waterfall of hopelessness and agony.
6. You try your best to make other people happy.
The saddest, most depressed people are often those who bring laughter and smiles to others. That’s because they don’t want even for a second someone else to experience the tremendous emotional trauma they’re going through themselves.
“Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.”
– Robin Williams
7. You might be a people-pleaser.
Constantly trying to keep everyone happy may even make you a people-pleaser. You just find it extremely hard to say no to someone because this might make you feel like a failure, and you can’t take any more of that feeling. The struggles you’re experiencing are too much already to add up to them. So you just give people whatever they want. This way you make yourself believe things are calm and steady when it’s actually a living hell in your mind.
8. You get overly positive.
This is a defensive mechanism hurt people have to hide their pain. You do it too. You have created this positive, easy-going, yet fake personality to fool people your life is perfectly fine. What’s more, you even encourage others to be more optimistic too. This helps you disguise the fact you’re just someone who needs to be taken care of. You’re too afraid to be vulnerable, and you choose to fake joyfulness, instead of showing your true pessimistic, anxious self.
The truth is, nothing in life is permanent. This chaotic mess your mind has turned into won’t last forever.
Sooner or later, you will figure out the best way to overcome the struggles and fight the pain.
Eventually, you will feel comfortable in your own skin again. You will find the hope and faith you need. But first, you need to learn how to open up to people and allow them to offer you their help.
You don’t have to go through this all alone. There are people in your life that are ready to help you and support you on this journey. You just need to open your eyes to see and appreciate them.
