We have all dealt with a narcissist at some point in our lives, and are familiar with their habits.
The narcissist stops at nothing to always be the focus of attention, and they do all they can to convince the people around them that they are greatness in the flesh.
Most of them do everything they can to remain in the spotlight and pay little attention to those who they think might threaten to take down their facade of excellence.
The true narcissist is largely different than the typical individual with high self-esteem. High self-esteem doesn’t normally reflect an urge to control others, but rather, peace and satisfaction with one’s self, while narcissists often use tactics to control a person’s response to them. A recent study has found an interesting difference between narcissism and healthy self-esteem.
What narcissists give, and what they take
After spending time with a narcissist people often feel drained, and in some cases, also feel violated. Most narcissists are likely to attack other people’s mental and emotional space and suck up the energy in the room. They also have issues with engaging in a normal conversation because they put most of their energy into maintaining attention towards themselves. In addition, they tend to dislike themselves but keep up with the charade, and this can leave others around them feeling drained of their own energy levels.
As researchers revealed, we all need a bit of “healthy narcissism” to make sure we seek out the respect we deserve from other people. Self-esteem levels need to be maintained in order for us to believe in others and treat ourselves well. Unsurprisingly, being around people with high levels of justified self-esteem doesn’t have a negative effect on us. The truth is we actually prefer to have people around us who have strong self-esteem and high levels of self-confidence: They are much more pleasant to be around.
A narcissist’s gift to you is, in reality, a gift to herself
Narcissists tend not to believe in giving back to others solely for the sake of kindness. Study findings have revealed that narcissists five gifts with a mental note of it being an investment in their own desire, not to bring joy to others.
When researchers calculated the gift giving motivation of narcissists and those with high self-esteem, they found that most narcissists give gifts to keep the receivers devotion towards themselves going strong. The gifts are given with the motive of maintaining a twisted kind of relationship with the giver where they establish a sort of control over the receiver.
Narcissists do not give gifts to someone because they think they are amazing, they give them because they want them to think they are amazing.
While most of us give gifts to other people and show affection just to make them happy, the narcissist does that out of fear and with the idea of continuing the relationship to make sure that the other person feels indebted to them.
Fear of losing admiration from their “audience” is what drives the narcissist to the act of giving.
Do you have any stories about gift-giving narcissists you would like to share with us? Tell us about them in the comment section below.
