Are there moments when you think to yourself that you are going to be single forever?
Do you find it difficult to understand what went wrong in your past relationships?
While single life has its benefits, at the end of the day, most of us crave to fall asleep in the arms of a loved one. We are in a constant quest to finding true love. But when this quest gets more challenging than we thought it would be, some of us tend to give up on love. They believe they would be on their own until the rest of their lives.
Being single is amazing, but it is surely not for everyone. If you are someone who prefers the couple life, but you have difficulties finding the one, you may need some reality check.
Here are 9 behaviors that may keep you away from finding love:
1. You settle for mediocre relationships.
Have you ever wondered why all of your relationships feel incomplete? It is probably because you always settle for less than you deserve. The desire to step out of the single world prevails, and you get together with people who are not on the same page as you. Even if you see the red flags in the beginning, you intentionally overlook them just to be able to say you’re someone’s half. And in the end, you are always the one who gets hurt.
Sadly, it’s usually your own expectations that hurt you the most. But if you have a little patience and wait for the one whose mindset will match yours, you might be pleasantly surprised.
If you constantly repeat to yourself that you don’t deserve to be loved, you will never get the love you truly deserve. Due to this damaged mentality, you stay with a partner who doesn’t treat you well, only because you think you don’t deserve to be with someone better. Lacking self-esteem, especially in relationships, may lead to detrimental damages. It makes you vulnerable to experienced manipulators who want to take advantage of you.
On the other hand, when you don’t believe in yourself enough, you wouldn’t be confident enough even when the most amazing person crosses your path and tries to pursue you.
Asking the important questions here: If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you?
3. You don’t learn from your mistakes.
Do you find yourself stuck in the exact same dead ends over and over again? Do you feel like all of your relationships end in the same way? Have you ever considered this may be happening because you are not learning from the mistakes you’ve made in the past?
If you don’t learn from your past mistakes, you are inevitably going to repeat them. This goes not only for love and romantic relationships but for every single aspect of your life. If you find yourself in the same suffocating loop, maybe it’s time for you to listen to what the universe is trying to tell you.
4. You are afraid to face your problems.
The fear of facing your issues is a common problem amongst couples. We have all been hurt before, and we all carry different loads. But entering a brand new relationship while still dealing with past troubles can suck out the joy of it within moments. Ignoring your trauma and hoping it would magically go away never works. So instead of waiting for your troubles to disappear, try doing something about it.
5. You blame everyone else for your misery.
Instead of looking for the problem in yourself, you prefer to think that there are no decent people left to date. In your mind, you are still single because everyone else is beneath you. They are to blame for your loneliness, not you.
Well, newsflash: If all of your relationships are somehow incomplete, maybe the problem is you. So, stop blaming everyone else and try to figure out what obstructs you from finding someone who would make you finally feel whole.
6. You have unrealistic standards.
We all wish to find someone who would tick all of our boxes. But what if those boxes are far too many or far too unrealistic?
No one is perfect. We are all flawed and make mistakes every day. This shouldn’t stop us from fearlessly falling in love. If you think you may have a little too many criteria for the ideal partner, try to make them a bit more sensible. Don’t lower your standards, but don’t demand someone to live up to unrealistic expectations.
7. You struggle with trust issues.
You were probably hurt once or twice before, which gave you severe trust issues that burden every relationship you have, even the non-romantic ones. Whenever someone doesn’t text you back within seconds, you assume they have lost interest in you. Whenever someone prefers to remain silent, you suspect them of lying or even cheating on you without having any evidence. You get paranoid by the slightest inconvenience.
What you probably fail to realize is that the more you fear something, the more your paranoia creates an environment for it to become reality. If you constantly suspect your partner of lying to you, you are only making them feel insecure in your connection. With such insecurity on your way, lies can easily intoxicate your relationship.
8. You are a chronic overthinker.
Do you tend to overanalyze every single thing that happens to you? Do you search for problems even when everything seems to be alright? Your overthinking mind can be a reason for you to be alone. When you keep your brain busy with overanalyzing every single word you hear, you forget to be present at the moment. You get caught up in your own head, and you lose touch with the real world.
9. You’ve lost your faith in love.
If you have been single for a little too long now, you may think to yourself that you will be on your own forever. Stressing over being single until the rest of your days may actually be standing in your way of finding love. Similar to overthinking, this blocks you from appreciating the moment. Worrying too much without willing to make a single change in your lifestyle will have you stuck in one place. But if you still have faith in love, you need to stop worrying and take an action.
You deserve to find someone who would appreciate you for who you are. Don’t sabotage your own chance at love.