“Would that there was an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough.” – Gail Sheehy
The Difference Between Self-Respect and Ego
Self-respect is the respect you have for yourself, while ego is your opinion of your greatness. We all have our perceptions of how good we are, but some individuals think they are better than the rest. An inflated ego may stem from too much self-esteem but people with a big ego usually feel unequal to others because, deep inside, they feel worthless and undeserving of respect.
When someone truly respects and believes in themselves, the ego which is a natural part of our character is present but does not play that an essential role in their life.
The person with genuine self-respect likes themselves just the way they are.
And here is the moment to say to whoever is reading this that learning to respect yourself is one of the most important lessons in life.
The process starts by looking in the mirror and accepting the person you see there. Of course, perfection is not what you should expect or require. Perfect people don’t exist actually. But if you learn to respect yourself, you would accept your imperfections as a normal trait of your self.
And that’s not all.
Here are seven extraordinary truths about people who respect themselves which could help you identify if you are one of them:
1. You keep your word.
One of the reasons, why I respect myself, is keeping my word to others. People who have self-respect always keep their promises, as they feel the happiest when they do what they say. Acting honestly and responsibly also improves the self-esteem the same way exercising frequently improves our figure.
2. You’re not a people pleaser.
You want people to be happy but not at all price. You would try making others smile and feeling good about themselves but not all the time. Perhaps this is because you know that to be loved by everybody is impossible. You want to have more friends, and it makes you feel good to know that others appreciate you but you are ready to stand up for who you are and what you believe in even though this may not please everyone.
3. Other people’s opinion does not easily influence you
Someone who lacks self-respect is easily affected by the views and behaviors of others because they don’t see theirs as valid. But you are not the type of person looking for direction from the world around them, ignoring their point of view. You simply know that your opinion is exactly as important as that of someone else. So you would only believe your values and make decisions you think are right.
4. You wouldn’t let anyone take control over you
If you keep maintaining poisonous, controlling relationships you might be lacking self-respect. People with high self-respect are far more likely to stand up for themselves and fight for their opinion in relationships. A highly self-respecting individual would immediately cut connections with people who try to take control of their lives. They know such friendships or partnerships are not worth it, and they know they’ll find someone out there who respects them the way they are.
5. You try to be in good health
A self-respecting person knows that health is one of the most important things for a good life. So, you are not going to torture themselves with an unhealthy lifestyle. Like having a poor diet or letting negativity overwhelm your life.
6. You know time is precious
Self-respecting people never waste too much time to work through their sorrow over their mistakes or their past. So if you are one you always find positive ways to use your time and energy– you fill your free time with activities that make you feel happy because you know that time only goes forward and never backward.
7. You would hardly ever display aggressive behavior.
People who respect themselves would not act aggressively (e.g., putting others down, shouting, threatening, demanding your way, etc.) because they feel perfectly fine with themselves and who they are. They do not need to make others feel bad. Aggressive behavior is usual for people who lack self-confidence and try to compensate for this through all types of aggressive acts.
So if all of or most of the facts listed above are true for you, well, then you are one complete, happy person who loves and respects themselves. However, if you realize that you lack most of these characteristics you might need to read some piece of advice…
….. how to develop your self-respect
The good news is that it’s not that difficult to do this. When we’re not treating ourselves well enough, we subconsciously realize it. And as we can’t improve anything in our character without understanding what it is, we need to be on the look-out for what makes us feel unhappy, disrespected or unsatisfied.
When you find yourself feeling negative emotions such as guilt, shame, or self-inflicted anger, you might ask yourself the questions below to boost your self-respect:
What kind of behavior has made me feel this way?
- How should I act the next time, so that I could respond with more self-respect in a similar situation?
- Is there someone I could talk to so that I can feel better?
- Can I be less severe to myself and accept that making mistakes is normal and I should be learning from them, not feeling down?
- What do I lack to be able to look sincerely at myself and be satisfied with the person I see?
Each time you ask yourself these questions, listen to your inner self and act accordingly. If you do this often, you will develop a higher level of self-respect — as well as self-confidence. You will probably start behaving more calmly and confidently in any situation.
And lastly, it’s not before we realize that we show other people how to treat us — either by how we treat them or how they see us treating ourselves – that we could learn how to behave with true self-respect.
Do you respect yourself?
Please, share what you think.