Does your family make you feel neglected and unloved?
Our family members are meant to be the only people we can blindly trust and rely on for love and support. Your parents are supposed to love you more than anybody else in the world and your siblings are supposed to be your best friends. While this is true, very few people are blessed with a healthy and happy family. Instead, many feel neglected and unloved by their toxic parents and/or siblings. Unsurprisingly, being a part of an abusive family is extremely painful as you cannot help but love the people who make you feel miserable.
There are 8 signs that your family does not care about you.
1. You do not feel loved
A healthy family would make you feel loved, supported and cared for. They will call, text, and check up on you – especially when times are tough. Moreover, they often let you know that you are missed and that they love you. If the people in your life do not make you feel this way, they might be dysfunctional.
2. You are alone in difficult times
If your family does not show their support and concern when you are going through difficult periods, they do not care about you like they should. A loving parent would do everything they possibly could to ensure that you are not alone. They will be there for you and they will try their best to minimize your pain.
3. Your feelings are ignored
Everybody deserves to feel as though their feelings, thoughts, and opinions matter. A dysfunctional family would make you feel as though they do not; that is, they will ignore you or even mock you for the things you say. This can leave you feeling worthless and unimportant.
4. You have experienced abuse
If you have been physically, emotionally, or mentally abused by your family, you are not loved like you should be. Your family should never do anything to harm you in any way. In fact, they should be the people who ensure that you never have to go through any pain. Therefore, if they are the ones who put you through pain, they are most likely toxic.
5. You are criticized
While all parents and siblings give their honest opinions and offer constructive criticism, a dysfunctional family will criticize you with the intention of hurting you. This means that they are often harsh and rude with their criticism, making you feel as though you will never be good enough.
6. You are not respected
Do your parents constantly ignore your needs and violate your boundaries? Unlike a dysfunctional family, a loving family will be respectful of your needs, your personal space, and your private life.
7. You are blamed for everything
Whenever something goes wrong, your family blames you. They do this to avoid owning up to their mistakes or taking responsibility for the consequences of their actions. If you constantly take the blame for things you did not do, you are being abused and manipulated. In other words, your family is putting you through pain without caring about how it impacts you.
8. You are never invited to family gatherings
It is extremely difficult and painful to come to terms with the idea that your family might not care about you. However, it explains why they would never check up on you, invite you to family events, or even share good news with you. Being cut off is a clear sign that your family does not care about you like they ought to.
How can you cope with having a dysfunctional family?
1. Make yourself a priority
When dealing with toxic family members, you need to ensure that you are taking care of yourself. This means taking the time to look after your mental health and emotional wellbeing. When nobody else offers you the love, care, and support that you need, you need to be your best friend. Feeling content and satisfied with who you are is vital.
If your family is abusive, controlling, and disrespectful, set boundaries. Initially, this may be difficult as your parents or siblings might dismiss you and violate the boundaries you set; however, being firm and distancing yourself when you need to can help.
3. Talk to them
Sometimes, abusive people do not know that their behavior is hurting the ones they love. Talk to your family and let them know how they are making you feel. While it is true that they might dismiss you (and in doing so, confirm that they do not care), they might listen and try to change.
4. Focus on others
Although this is easier said than done, you must learn how to count your blessings. In other words, be grateful for the people who love and support you.
5. Do not blame yourself
Blaming yourself for the behavior of your parents or siblings is self-destructive. You are not at fault for the abuse you have experienced. Holding yourself responsible for the actions of your toxic family members is extremely unhealthy and it can have the power to destroy your mental health.
Being a part of a dysfunctional and unloving family is painful and difficult. What is more, it is something that nobody deserves. If you are the daughter or son of toxic parents, know that you are not alone and that you have all it takes to lead a happy and healthy life. Set boundaries, love yourself, and do not take responsibility for the actions and abuse of those around you.