: a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (such as an addiction to alcohol or heroin); dependence on the needs of or control by another
Codependency is a term describing an unhealthy relationship where the partners are dangerously reliant on one another. In most cases, one of the partners is codependent on the other, meaning that they believe they wouldn’t be able to function on their own. It could be both an emotional and a behavioral issue that can destroy your chances of sustaining wholesome connections.
Unfortunately, codependency is a common concern in romantic relationships. Narcissistic and other kinds of toxic individuals would often manipulate their partners into developing a severe dependency to ensure they won’t have the strength to leave. However, the toxic partner’s need to make their significant other reliant entirely on them also indicates a disturbing level of codependency.
But how can you tell if codependency is an issue in your relationship?
Here are 8 giveaways you are struggling with codependency:
1. You are afraid of your partner’s reactions.
You constantly feel as if you are walking on eggshells around your significant other. That’s because you are too afraid they might lash out at you the moment you step a little louder. So, to avoid confrontation, you prefer to bottle up emotions and hold feelings in. Because when you do open up, you usually end up thinking: “Why did I even say anything?”
2. You are hesitant to ask your partner for help.
It takes a lot of courage to ask someone for help. However, when it comes to a loved one, it shouldn’t feel as stressful to admit you need assistance. Still, you are reluctant to turn to your significant other for help because they might consider your plea as an act of weakness and belittle you for it.
3. You get frustrated when your partner doesn’t notice your efforts.
In your relationship, you are always the one who gets all the work done. You basically take care of everything. So, it’s only natural that you get mad and disappointed when your partner fails to acknowledge your efforts.
4. You can’t have friends your partner disapproves of.
Before, you used to hang out with a ton of friends. You used to go out and socialize almost every night, having the time of your life. But now that you are coupled up with a toxic partner, you get to spend time with only a few of your old friends, and only if your significant other approves of them.
5. You don’t have interests outside of your relationship.
You can’t think of a single thing you enjoy doing on your own, without the presence of your partner. No hobbies, no interests, no passion about anything that doesn’t involve your other half. Sadly, this shows you have lost crucial parts of your identity.
6. You strive to be perfect, so you don’t make your partner mad.
You aim for perfection in everything you do. Sadly, you don’t do it because you want to be impeccable, but because you fear your significant other might get angry if you don’t get everything right.
7. You don’t trust your partner.
Not only are you afraid of opening up to your partner, but you also have severe doubts they might be untruthful. You fear they might be lying to you or hiding important information to distract you. These trust issues make it extremely hard for you to determine whether your significant other is genuine or not.
8. You are struggling with mental health issues, including stress, anxiety, and even depression.
Being afraid of your partner inevitably leads to mental health problems. After all, your other half must be the one you feel free to talk to about anything in the world. They should be the one who sees your vulnerability and loves you for it. They should encourage you to embrace your true self. But if they are making you quit everything you enjoy doing, forget about friends that used to inspire you, turn your back on yourself, then this love is far more toxic than you might think.
Hopefully, you couldn’t relate to the abovementioned signs of codependency. But if you did, know that you still have time to turn things around.
You can still reconnect with yourself in order to rediscover your true identity. You can still save yourself from the toxic influence of your partner.
To overcome codependency, you first need to understand it. What does it mean? How did it become such a massive part of your life? What made you codependent?
In case you have trouble understanding codependency on your own, don’t be afraid to ask someone for help. You are surely not the only person in the world that has been a victim of a mentally abusive partner, so there must be someone who can help you figure it out.
In the process, you should also try to find the exact cause you developed your codependency. What made you so reliant on your partner? Why did you form a mindset based on the idea that you cannot function properly on your own?
Once you determine the exact reasons for your condition, you will be able to come up with effective solutions. Therefore, you will have the tools you need to overcome your codependency.
Are you struggling with codependency? Do you know someone who is dealing with a similar issue in their relationship? Share your experience with us in the comment section!