7 warning signs of Gaslighting in a relationship
Gaslighting is a toxic phenomenon that occurs far too often in today’s romantic relationships.
It represents a severe form of manipulation that makes the victim so vulnerable and fragile-minded that they question their whole reality.
At first, the gaslighter charms their prey with fascinating stories and a picture-perfect attitude. They make their victims feel as if they are in a real-life fairytale. But as soon as they gain enough control over their new toys, the fairytale ends. They turn your life into a living hell. They make you question your self-worth, your capability of making decisions, and your perception of the people you surround yourself with. Sadly, the moment you realize you’ve been living in a lie, your whole world shatters before your eyes.
The harsh truth is that if you suspect your partner might be gaslighting you, they most probably are. In such sensitive cases, trusting your gut is the right thing to do. But if you still have doubts that it might be all in your head, you should at least be aware of the signs.
Here are 7 red flags your partner is gaslighting you:
1. Most of the time, you feel dazed and confused.
You feel puzzled most of the time, especially when you’re in your partner’s orbit. They make you nervous and disturbingly unaware of what might happen next. It almost feels like your significant other is going out of their way to keep you in the dark. Well, this might be precisely what they are doing, so better trust your intuition before things get irreparable.
2. You end up feeling guilty after pointing out their mistakes.
Every time you call your partner out for lying to you, hurting you, even cheating on you, they twist the facts so that you end up feeling guilty. Somehow they present everything in a way that whatever they did, they did it because of you. Do you honestly think they have the right to do so?
3. They use your insecurities against you.
You two have been in a couple for a while now, so your partner knows almost everything about you, including your weaknesses. Unfortunately, instead of helping you overcome your demons, they constantly point out your insecurities and instill severe self-doubt in your mind. Eventually, this toxic behavior helps them gain control over you, which is enough for them to confidently manipulate every single decision you make.
4. They are telling you things like, “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re overreacting.”
Whenever you express your anger triggered by the unacceptable way they have been treating you, they try to convince you that you’re simply overreacting. They act as if your feelings don’t matter, and you don’t have the right to be upset over their behavior. Sadly, the more they act that way, the more you start believing their words.
5. You feel like you are incapable of making choices on your own.
If you are in a relationship with a gaslighter, chances are you feel like you don’t get to make any important decisions. That’s a result of all the control your partner has over you. You have gotten so caught up in their mind games that you are now convinced that you don’t have the power to make your own choices.
6. Their entertaining stories are rarely backed up by real facts.
Gaslighters often charm their victims by telling them awe-inspiring stories about adventures, successes, and achievements they have never experienced in real life. However, they tell these stories so impassioned and dramatic that you hardly ever have the time to question their words. And when it comes to promises, they are masters at making you believe they would change and things will go back to normal. But they never do, do they?
7. You never see your friends and family anymore.
What happened? How did you end up so isolated from the people you love? Perhaps, it was your manipulative partner who forced you to distance yourself from everyone else so they can have your full attention. Maybe they made you believe you don’t need anyone else’s love. But this only made you feel more lonely than you have ever been in your whole life. Now the ones you usually confide in are too far away from you to help you go through the storm. That’s how gaslighters treat their victims.