Relationships are heavily complicated and incredibly simple at the same time.
In theory, all you need is to find someone who shares your views and loves you for who you are. But in reality, finding that special someone is one of the most overwhelming challenges you will ever go through. You might meet many potential loves who are outstanding on paper but are far too immature to engage in a serious relationship.
Sometimes you try fooling yourself that your partner will change, that they will eventually start acting like functioning adults, and that they only need a little more time to appreciate you. But what if this moment never comes? What if this magical transformation you long for never occurs?
Here are 5 warning signs that your partner doesn’t have the emotional maturity for a real relationship:
1. They don’t listen.
If your partner always talks and never listens, their emotional maturity is definitely below the level it should be by now. Someone who is focused only on their own needs can never be entirely devoted to another human being. This is quite unfortunate since devotion is what holds a relationship together.
When you have dedicated time, energy, and most importantly – love to someone, you expect them to do the same for you. Or at least you assume they will respect your commitment. But when this person doesn’t even listen to what you have to say, you feel as if none of your efforts are appreciated. You lose hope. That’s when their immaturity can kill your relationship.
2. They talk badly of their exes.
Talking sh#t about a person you used to share a bed with speaks a lot more about you than about them. It says that you are disrespectful towards the people you choose. It shows your poor level of understanding of how a real relationship works. If your partner often mentions their exes with a negative tone, not only are they not over them, but they are also struggling to act as mature adults.
Sometimes, when we are furious over something, we say things we shouldn’t be saying out loud. This includes expressing the pain caused by former partners in a toxic way. But if your significant other does this far too often, they are probably not as invested in your relationship as they claim to be. If something from the past still haunts them, and they are constantly blaming their troubles on their former partners, the problem might be hiding within them.
3. They are too self-centered.
Being selfish, narcissistic, or self-absorbed while in a relationship can be an enormous dealbreaker. It shows that you are not mature enough to understand that romantic bonds require mutuality. To make things work, you need to be willing to compromise. However, if you are self-obsessed, you might not be able to apprehend why there are times when you need to step back.
Does your partner always want things to go their way, talk mainly about themselves, and put their own happiness above the well-being of your relationship? In case their personality is filled with suchlike narcissistic traits, they might not be ready for a serious commitment.
4. They are attention-seekers.
Some people cannot imagine not being in the spotlight. They crave attention so badly, that they often overlook the feelings of others while trying to get it. Even when they are coupled up, they are still hunting for recognition, regardless of the cost. Unfortunately, this behavioral pattern doesn’t really work in mature relationships.
When one of the partners is a chronic attention-seeker, they might often neglect the needs of their other half. The desire for admiration, which is also a narcissistic trait, can be the death of a relationship. That’s because when someone is always on the chase for validation, they spend little to no time considering their partner’s emotions, feelings, and needs. In other words, while constantly seeking attention, they risk losing a real thing.
5. They have mastered the evil art of blame-shifting.
Blame-shifting occurs when someone projects their own mistakes on others. In case your partner often plays the victim in situations where they were the ones who messed up, you need to be alert. They might be trying to manipulate you by guilt-tripping you for their own actions.
For instance, they may tell you that if it weren’t for something you have done or said, they wouldn’t react in such a hurtful way. Suchlike behavior is a huge red flag for the future of your relationship. Not only it shows that your significant other is not mature enough to commit, but it also reveals they have a controlling side.
Hopefully, you didn’t relate your relationship to the aforementioned signs. But if you did, know that you are not obligated to settle for an immature partner.
You deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries and appreciates every single effort you make for the sake of your romantic bond. You deserve to be with someone who is ready to treat you with devotion, affection, and love. Anything else is not worth the time, energy, and emotional pain you experience while fighting for a doomed love.