What does it mean when we refer to someone as emotionally unavailable?
The definition of emotional availability is being able to sustain emotional bonds in relationships.
This can also be sensed. You may feel like a certain depth of connection is missing and are starting to realize that the one you’ve been falling for in the past few months doesn’t actually want to take the relationship to a deeper level.
But there are also other signs that you can notice in the early stages of dating a person to make sure that you aren’t wasting your feelings on someone who will end up letting you down.
1. They have commitment issues
The person you’re seeing casually mentions that they don’t believe in monogamy or marriage. They also often throw in things like “I’m not really a relationship type”, or “I’m not really good at relationships.” If you hear something like that, don’t think twice and get out of there.
Now, such a person doesn’t necessarily want to be alone, but they want things to be done their way, so you shouldn’t expect much commitment on their side.
2. They don’t open up
One of the most obvious signs that someone isn’t emotionally available is that they don’t talk about or show their true feelings when they’re with you. And while you may try to push them towards being more open, they always seem to have their guard up around you, never allowing themselves to say what they truly feel. For instance, rather than talk about the crappy day they had at work, or a personal crisis, they choose to keep it all to themselves, coming across as a totally neutral person in every aspect. And if the one you’re going out with is this hard to read, that is a clear sign that they might be emotionally unavailable.
3. When it comes to plans, they’re totally unreliable
Trying to make plans with this person is simply a nightmare. They either throw you a “maybe”, or they agree to something but cancel at the last minute. The truth is, if they cannot commit to meeting up with you over the weekend, it will definitely be a problem if you enter into a relationship with them. If they are only available to you when they see fit, that is an obvious red flag.
4. They show viciousness towards their exes
They talk bad about their ex-partners. They call them insane, liars, cheaters, and more. But surely, if you could hear the rest of the story, you would get a totally different picture.
They are desperately trying to come off as a victim while not being honest about the real reasons why things didn’t work out with their exes.
5. They’re inconsistent
One minute they can’t breathe without you and are making plans for the future with you. The week after, you rarely get contacted by them, and can’t even get them to return a text or set aside 5 minutes to meet up. This is a clear sign that you cannot trust this person when it comes to matters of the heart.
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