If you have been hurt by a narcissist, you probably want to hurt them back.
Many of us have experienced abuse and pain at the hands of someone we trusted. Whether they were your partner, your friend, or even your relative, you never thought that they would hurt you this way. After years of being bullied, manipulated, and abused, it is normal to think that hurting them the way they have hurt you will make you feel better. In reality, however, causing someone pain will never heal you. In fact, it will only cause you more pain.
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
4 reasons why you should not seek revenge.
1. Hurting them means becoming like them.
If you decide to get revenge and hurt the one who has caused you pain, you are no different from them. What is worse, they would be expecting you to do so. Therefore, they will be prepared to only manipulate, gaslight, and deceive you even further. Walking away means protecting yourself. Do not stoop to their level no matter how much you want them to feel your pain. At the end of the day, what goes around comes back around: they will get what they deserve, even if you are not there to see it.
2. Hurting them will cause you pain.
Unlike the narcissist, you are not devoid of guilt and empathy. In other words, no matter how much you think you want to hurt them, you do not. You are not vengeful and you are not cruel. The reason you want to hurt them like they hurt you is just so they will understand your pain. Wanting to be understood is not the same as wanting to see them in pain. If you hurt them, you will most likely only harm yourself.
3. Hurting them will not erase the pain.
Let’s say you do get revenge. You hurt them in the same way that they hurt you. You have made them cry and beg… Now what? You will gain nothing from causing them pain. Hurting them will not erase what has happened and it will not diminish your pain. It will do nothing at all.
4. Hurting them puts you at risk.
If the narcissist who abused you is no longer in your life, re-engaging with them puts you at risk. Seeing and speaking to the person responsible for your trauma can and most likely will trigger you. This means that painful memories and feelings will come rushing back. Re-engaging with the one who hurt you can bring back things you do not want to feel. When we have been emotionally, mentally, and/or physically abused by someone, seeing them puts us at immense risk. Stay away to protect your wellbeing.
Choose to walk away and save yourself.
Karma will take care of those who did you wrong.