Have you experienced the struggle of being manipulated by someone you loved with all of your heart? If the answer is ‘yes,’ then you are probably well-aware of the following realizations.
But if you still haven’t felt what it’s like to be hurt by the one you care for, or you are currently with someone who treats you poorly and disregards your feelings, these lessons will provide you with a much-needed reality check. They will help you understand why standing up for yourself, with the risk of being alone, is much more valuable than staying in a doomed relationship.
Here are 20 things you will learn after leaving a toxic relationship behind:
1. Pretending you are okay when on the inside you are hurting is not going to make things right. So, instead of lying to yourself, you should acknowledge your feelings in order to understand them and deal with them.
2. If you feel like you are putting much more effort into your relationship than your partner, there is probably something wrong.
3. Always trust your intuition. It will save you a tremendous amount of heartache. If you have doubts about someone’s behavior and something about them makes you feel anxious, don’t overlook the signs.
4. If your friends and family disapprove of the way your partner is treating you, they are most probably right to have reservations. The people who genuinely love you have your best interest at heart. If something is off, they would understandably be worried. Don’t ignore their concerns.
5. The way a person carries themselves has a lot to say about their personality. Learning how to observe others’ behavior and temper will help you recognize the red flags in time.
6. If you catch a red flag in the very first stages of your relationship, there are going to be more as it progresses. Sadly, you may not have the power to change your partner, especially if they are toxic, as your gut is telling you. In this case, the best thing you could do for yourself is to walk away and never look back.
7. Love shouldn’t be a DIY project. You shouldn’t fall in love with the idea of someone’s potential. You should fall in love with who they are. Sometimes you may find the thought of the person your partner will become after you help them change more exciting than who they are at the present moment. But if you disapprove of their current personality, why would you even go for them in the first place?
8. Just because someone claims they want to build a future with you, it doesn’t imply they truly mean it. Unfortunately, most of the time, words are just that – words. Be careful when it comes to falling for shallow promises, especially when they are not backed up with actual actions.
9. You should never sacrifice your beliefs and moral values in order to make a relationship last longer. If you do so, you risk losing yourself in the process.
10. If you constantly have to downplay a person’s behavior in front of others, there must be something off.
11. If the sex is perfect, it doesn’t mean that everything between you and your partner is flawless. In case the only thing that is advancing in your connection is your physical intimacy, you need to do some serious reevaluation of the stability of your relationship.
12. You should never fall for someone who disregards your family. These people who have an enormous influence offer the person you are today. Even if you find some of your relatives bothersome, you should never allow someone outside your family to disrespect them. The way your significant other treats the people who raised you says a lot about them.
13. Opposites don’t always attract. Sometimes sharing similar moral values is much more healthy for creating a strong romantic bond.
14. If someone brings out the worst in you, and they do it intentionally, they don’t love you. Anyone who wants to see you spiral out of control and lose track of your goals and dreams is toxic.
15. Questioning your relationship every now and then is necessary. Do you see your partner in your plans for the future? Are they investing in your bond as much energy as you? How do they react in the face of a hurdle? If you don’t like the answers to those and other similar questions about the strength of the connection between you two, you should take that as a massive red flag.
16. The way people react after a breakup reveals a lot about their true nature. If they treat you miserably and blame everything on you, they never truly loved you. When someone has genuine feelings for you, they will treat you with respect even after you go on your separate ways.
17. After you break up with a toxic partner, you will feel beyond miserable. You will feel lost, dazed, and confused at the same time. These negative feelings will make you vulnerable. You would probably consider getting back together. But remember that being single is times better than being with someone who disregards your emotions and doesn’t appreciate you for who you are.
18. Healing after leaving a toxic relationship behind takes time. Feeling good in your own skin once again is a journey. But it is a journey worth pursuing.
19. Eventually, you will realize that breaking up with your toxic partner was amongst the best decisions you have ever made.
20. Last but not least: Love is not an excuse to stay in a toxic relationship. While it may fool you into feeling better about the issues you and your partner struggle with, it doesn’t actually solve any of your problems. So, love is not all you need. If you lack mutual respect, trust, and support, love will not be enough to save your bond from falling apart.
Settling for someone toxic only to avoid being alone will destroy your mental health. It will make you a puppet in someone’s nasty mind games.
This one simple but valuable life lesson will set you free from anyone’s toxic influence for good.
You deserve to be loved with the same passion and devotion you care for others. You deserve to be with someone who brings out the best in you and encourages you to grow. Someone who finds your true colors fascinating. Anything less than that is not worth your time. Let that sink in.