Extreme jealousy and having a possessive partner are not cute things.
Yes, when you’re in a relationship, some jealousy is quite normal, but having a controlling partner who is overly-obsessive is a definite red flag and you shouldn’t ignore it.
The frightening part is that obsessive and controlling partners often don’t reveal their dark side until you’re deep into a relationship with them.
However, there are some signs that can be noticed before you’ve found yourself in a hot mess with an obsessive controlling partner, and below we have listed the 10 most common ones.
1. They constantly accuse you of being unfaithful
If your partner regularly tells you they are suspecting you’re cheating on them, even without being able to show evidence for it, that is a definite red flag. And while this behavior might be the result of them being deeply insecure or that they were cheated on in the past, it is simply unfair of them to treat you this way. Do not tolerate this!
2. Pushing you into doing things that are bad for you
Making you do drugs with them, undermining your fitness goals, tempting you to smoke when you’ve long quit, not respecting your decision to not get drunk – these are all things a controlling person can try to keep you down. The more they weaken you, the easier it is for them to keep their boot on you.
3. They always need to know where you are and what you’re doing
Is your partner is stalking you or demanding to know where you are and who you’re with 24/7? If the answer is yes, then you might have a control freak on your hands. Sure, your partner has a right to call you and ask what you’re up to, but clearly, there’s a boundary.
4. They ask you to prove your love for them
If your other half keeps on asking you to prove how much you love them – for example, cutting ties with your friends or moving in with them before you’re ready, that is a clear sign they’re testing their ability to control you, not your love for them.
5. They make you do things in bed you’re uncomfortable with
A controlling partner can sometimes make you do things in the bedroom that feel wrong while in the moment, and at other times you might feel uneasy with yourself looking back at the experience. No matter what it is, if you constantly feel uncomfortable with what goes on in your sex life, then surely something isn’t quite right with this relationship.
6. They always find something to criticize you for
As time went on, they gradually started to criticize your small imperfections (jokingly at first), but they’ve moved on to constantly nagging about the things you say, do, or the way you dress. This is especially harmful because it can cause you to lose your self-confidence. Beware of the overly-critical partner!
7. They make surprise appearances when you go out or travel without them
A partner who surprises you with a candle-lit dinner is quite different from the one who shows up on your weekend trip to the mountains with your friends unannounced. If they’ve made it a regular thing to crash your parties without calling first, they may be using romance as a badly disguised excuse to try and “catch you in the act”.
8. They discourage you from chasing your dreams
If your partner doesn’t support you in becoming an accomplished individual, they might not want you to have a career in the future because they fear you might leave them if you make it professionally. A controlling partner is willing to shatter your dreams out of pure selfishness.
9. They check your phone or look through your stuff
If you keep catching your partner looking through your belongings without asking for permission, they are clearly overstepping a privacy boundary, and are hence betraying your love. And a person who does not respect your personal space and has issues with trusting you is clearly not deserving of your love.
When it comes to a point where your partner makes you feel like human garbage, they will turn it around and make it look like they are the victim. This is a manipulation tactic to get you to feel sorry for them. They might try to bring up old issues and things that you did to take the guilt off of them and put on you. But should you dare to do the same thing, they will call you out for trying to play the victim.
Spot these controlling behaviors and cut such people out of your life without thinking twice.
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