There are many different kinds of conversations that two or more people can have. There’s small talk, light hearted conversations, conversations about topical things like the news, work, or school.
But there’s one kind of conversation that is the sexiest of all of them: real conversations.
Real conversations aren’t an everyday thing. Frankly, a real conversation is a pretty rare thing to participate in. Most of the above conversations listed follow some kind of format. They’re a simple back and forth that scratch the surface of generally unimportant things, like the weather or a big project coming up. These conversations are mostly just an exchange of information.
But real conversations are so much deeper. It’s not a ping pong game played with words. It’s something so much more than that.
In a real conversation, no one is hiding anything.
Real conversations require our full attention. In a real conversation, each person is opening up entirely. Their guards are let down. Walls that might otherwise protect us from the ravages of this sometimes cruel life are basically torn completely down. Everything that we’ve learned to do to ‘protect ourselves’ is gone in a real conversation.
So much care should be taken when having a real conversation. The person you’re speaking with is baring everything. They aren’t hiding anything from you. Their words are like a fragile piece of art. It needs to be gently handled and cared for the way you would your grandmother’s china dishes.
In a real conversation, you can be you, and that’s okay.
Everyone puts up a kind of front that hides the person they really are. At some level, we all want to be someone else. Each time we make a goal for ourselves, that desire to be a better version of ourselves comes to life. But it also happens in many of the outward-facing things we do, from the way we talk, the things we do for fun, and who we keep as friends.
But in a real conversation, you can be your real self. And it makes sense. Real conversations are all about laying yourself bare for the other person in the conversation. No front of any kind can withstand a real conversation. You can be the person you really are and that is okay.
Texting has nothing on a real one-on-one.
I’m not going to tell you how to have a real conversation, or suggest that there’s a right way and a wrong way. You can have a real conversation in any format – over the phone, online, or even over text message. But I will say that there is an important piece missing from a real conversation that you just can’t get from texting.
Intimate connectedness.
In a real conversation, all of your senses are engaged. The way the room smells, the way the person feels, seeing their expressions, hearing their words, tasting the wine you’re drinking – all of your senses are engaged. And engaging your senses is what makes this real conversation so memorable and so sexy. How often do you hear of couples holding onto old bottles of wine for years and years on end?
The two intimately connected over that bottle, and it’s been an important keepsake ever since. A deep conversation over text messaging is fine, but nothing beats the real deal.
A real conversation is beautiful and rare.
Concluding on this point is important. Real conversations, like true love, are a rare thing in your life. Like infatuation, passionate conversations can sometimes be mistaken for real conversations, but a real conversation is a uniquely sexy thing. There isn’t much else like it.
And like a bouquet of flowers, a real conversation is incredibly beautiful.
You’re baring a part of yourself, and they’re baring themselves to you as well. You can be the person you really are and connect on a whole new level. It’s a truly unique experience.
