4 Ways To Improve Your Leadership Skills Without Being A Narcissist
Although leadership does seem to have a form of natural selection based on the personality types people have, I truly believe being a leader is actually more of a form of practice and comfort than it is something that we are just born with.
However there are certain personality types like narcissists that seem to gravitate into positions of influence or leadership and be able to wield their power to advance their own personal goals.
Now we all have some degree of selfish thoughts within our mind due to just human nature and our need for safety but it had me thinking.
As an entrepreneur (or what I would call myself an philanthropreneur) what are some of the skills I have seen myself and others discover to really bring our your leadership skills for a good cause.
If you are looking to step up into your own power and leadership skills than here are 4 effective skills and practices you can consider adopting in your every day life:
#1 – Become a planner – people can only follow those with a plan
Becoming a planner is as simple as instilling a single habit in your week to week and month to month life.
Plan to plan.
As a self employed entrepreneur – one of the hardest and yet most fundamental skill sets I have ever learnt was how I wanted to go about planning my priorities.
There are so many things you can focus on and low hanging fruit you can grab and don’t get me started on the rollercoaster ride that is life itself let alone business as well but there is one consistent thing in my calendar each and every week.
Without fail I take the time to write down my ideas, tasks, thoughts, curiosities and line items that I feel I need or want to accomplish onto a piece of paper each and every single week in what I call a “brain dump” and then put some of these items directly into my calendar.
Use an physical agenda, phone or google calendar – it doesn’t matter the point is that leaders must first lead by recognizing and valuing their time more than anything else.
Now narcissists might take this to the extreme and want to control the time of others to fit their needs but I honestly believe mapping out your own calendar is the fastest way to find support in your dreams and turn them into common goals that others can follow – not just goals you need to manipulate others into doing.
#2 – Put yourself in others shoes and be curious about their perspectives and motivations through listening
The most admirable of leaders are always on the front lines with those who are part of their movement.
So whether you are just trying to be more influential in your group of friends or actually build a world changing movement or company there is real power in understanding what moves others.
Narcissists use this to their advantage as a tool for being able to twist the knobs and dials inside the emotions of others to achieve their version of success but there is a better way.
Simply stopping, listening and being curious about what people are really looking to achieve or what their core needs and desires might be gives you an opportunity to not only align your own desires with theirs but also pick a path forward that many can identify with. People more than anything on an emotional level are looking to be seen, heard and considered.
Not all plans or actions need to fit the exact wants of everyone in the group – but the strength in any given community can definitely be found in those who take stock of the feelings, concerns and excitements others are expressing.
The simple skill of being able to slow down and listen to others especially if done over long periods of time can make you a powerful influencer in your groups, work and community.
#3 – Identify your own values clearly and make decisions more easily
The most empowered leaders have found something that many often refer to as their purpose.
However I think the terminology of finding your purpose is a bit outdated compared to the more accurate idea of picking your passion because in the end what you decide as strong boundaries, values and lines in the sand for your own life helps define and attract the right people and energy you are looking for.
Might sound cliche – but your leadership abilities might just be a few strong decisions away from unlocking a very powerful force within you.
Narcissists have naturally chosen a strong value that deeply motivates them and often puts them into positions of great power. They are absolutely determined to do what is best for themselves and convince others to bend to serving this vision as well.
However their manipulations only work on those who are not self determined themselves and who have not picked a particular passion they want to pursue endlessly.
I believe that if you can just pick a passion that you want to double down your own efforts on is the most empowering act of self love, leadership and financial abundance you can ever make.
So much so that I made a free course for anyone who is interested in diving deeper.
#4 – Identify and express yourself as a leader
Want to hear the simplest yet most powerful thing you can do to step into your leadership?
Identify as a leader.
So many people let their own mindset stand in the way of their leadership abilities without recognizing that your own self assessment of your own identity and skills is absolutely crucial to success. What you identify as you become which applies to both positive and negative qualities in your life.
If you choose to see yourself as a healthy person for example – regardless of what shape you are in now you will begin making decisions that are consistent with that self decided perspective.
You will begin to pick up running and forming small but actionable habits that lead to massive shift in your life.
Being a leader isn’t about stepping on stage in front of thousands on day one – it begins with leading in the smallest of ways and identifying with that perspective not from a place of being self centered but rather from a place of being self motivated.
Leading through your own highest excitement and interests doesn’t make you a narcissist if at the end of the day you’re doing work to support other people and the environment around you.
The internet might be filled with motivational content of all forms and types but if you decide to put yourself first in an act of self improvement, love and discovery you can truly adopt the most important of shifts that every leader must undergo somewhere in their life.
The decision to lead in the first place – a decision only you can make!
Hope this helps and feel free to find me Marc Angelo Coppola on social for more advice if this resonated with you or if you have any questions or feedback!
About the author:
Marc Angelo Coppola
Philanthropreneur, Storyteller & Farmer
With a passion for education both in person and online – Marc Angelo is on a mission to build movements through creating engaging educational content through all mediums. He is the founder of Superhero Academy and Valhalla Movement Farms which is building a school both digitally and physically on a large farm just outside of Montreal!