If you’re like me, you’re an extroverted introvert which means that you are social and outgoing, but you also need to spend time on your own.
However, many people don’t know they are actually one, so I have prepared a list of 7 typical personal traits that could help you define whether you are an extroverted introvert.
1. We could be both social and closed off
At times I wish I hadn’t been among people when I find myself in an overcrowded place. I’ll usually force myself to try to get into a conversation, so others don’t ask if there is anything wrong. There is nothing wrong; I would prefer to be alone not trying to involve myself in small talk over things that I don’t care about.
Then there are others times when all I want to do is meet all of my friends. I’ll call everyone I can think of to make sure they’re going out. Seeing my friends is necessary and essential, that is why I would make an effort to make sure I will be surrounded by people I care about.
We have a lot of thoughts we want to share, but we think that they might not interest the others. So, we’d rather listen to our friends’ stories because we want to learn more about them. For us, talking is too much effort. And we would often feel happy just when we are around people.
What is more small talks are not our thing. We prefer intimate hangouts because we get a chance to get to know the other person and have an in-depth conversation about what we care about instead of discussing things that an entire group can contribute to.
2. We prefer a meaningful conversation.
Like I said above, small talk does not interest us. It could even make us feel bad, especially when the conversation goes around casual or shallow topics. For us a discussion which is worth having is the engaging and meaningful one, that would give us the opportunity to push it a little bit further and dig deeper.
We are always lost in thought, no matter whether we are on our own or with other people. Our brain goes in different directions, and we still tend to be thinking about something which is on our mind. We could also give ourselves pep talks if we need motivation.
Extroverted introverts like being alone and they could choose loneliness over socialization. However, they don’t like being alone because they don’t have anyone there for them. It’s just that being alone and spending time in their inner world is what makes them happy, sometimes. And sometimes what would make an extroverted introvert happy is in the company of their friends. So, they would enjoy both situations, depending on their mood.
4. We have a constant inner struggle of controlling our introverted side.
Sometimes our introverted side starts to overwhelm us. It’s frustrating because we’ll realize it after we’d begun closing into our minds and feeling introspective. It usually happens when we’re in big crowds. We only think we could concentrate on these moments, think about why is this happening, and we have the urgent need to talk to someone. But it’s very tough. We need to speak, or we’re going to end up in our head for the rest of the night.
5. We don’t have a “group” of friends.
We do have friends, but we would seldom be a part of an exclusive, core friend group. You know the ones I’m talking about—the gang. The crew who are always with each other, all the time.
We love making new friends and meeting new people, but our friends never seem to form deep connections with each other or become a group. We often pick and choose one or two individuals who become our best friends and who we love very deeply, and we’d do anything for them. So, if you’re reading this, maybe you’ve noticed the same thing about yourself.
6. We enjoy listening to others.
We like listening to other people’s problems because we know that sometimes all a person needs is someone to listen to them. And as we are very fond of our friends we are always ready to listen because we know this way we could help someone out. We are very good listeners because we can control our extroverted side and know when we have to keep silence and give the other person the opportunity to share their secrets or problems. And what is more listening to someone who has something going on makes us feel important.
7. We are selectively social.
Selective social interaction theory argues that as people grow older, they become more careful about their friendships or relationships.
For example, in college, we may have liked hanging out with many different people, but as we age, we start focusing on the interactions that are the most familiar and rewarding for us. That is because adults devote less energy to socializing and they want their communications to be as lovely as possible.
So, if you enjoy being social, but you don’t want to be social with everyone you are selectively social individual which is another typical trait of extroverted introverts.
For example, people who are drama queens are entirely out of your circle. You don’t like saying bad things about others, and you’d rather avoid people who do. It makes you extremely uncomfortable so that you would pick your close friends.
Do you think you possess one or more of the traits described above?