The Beginning of the End? Things to Consider Before Moving in Together
In the world of dating, most people do it in hopes of it leading to marriage one day, but before you get into the subject of marriage, you need to survive the dating milestones first. Some of those milestones include:
- Establishing a relationship
- Meeting friends and family
- Exchanging the “L” word
- Moving in together
Now, let’s just say that you and you’re significant other has hit all the milestones and are now at that point where the two of you are considering moving in together. Moving in together can initially sound very scary and intimidating. What if only one person is ready and the other person isn’t… how do you know when to move in together?
Cohabitation… You’ll Never Know Unless You Try, Right?
According to the Institute for Family Studies, 18 million Americans live together out of wedlock with hopes of marriage being the outcome. Studies have shown that cohabitation before marriage actually decreases the chances of marital success too. Because of those statistics, that’s all the more reason why you need to have a serious discussion about living together if you want your relationship to have a chance at being successful.
Understanding “The Why” of Moving in Together
Figuring out why you want to move in together plays a huge role in whether or not you should do it. Moving in together without having a valid reason why is one of the most common mistakes in relationships.
If you and your significant other truly love each other and want to take the relationship to the next level, then great! But if you two choose to cohabitate because your lease is about to be up or because you “already spend so much time together, why not?” You need to pump the brakes on moving in together and focus on moving the relationship forward with intent… not convenience.
Let’s See If You Both are on the Same Page
Apartment Shop Together
So first things first, when considering moving in together, you’re going to need an actual place to cohabitate, right? Yes, so one of the first things you two can do together is look for a place. There are several apartment searching tools available to use but if the two of you hop on rent.com, you’ll be able to look at apartments together and ultimately make a decision together on where to live. To start your apartment hunting process, look at apartment options here.
Have the Discussion About Money
One of the most important conversations to have before moving in together is a conversation about each other’s finances… and this conversation shouldn’t just be a one and done conversation either.
Moving in together will more than likely be the first time you will be managing money together as a couple. So, knowing what each other makes, discussing what will be paid together, and creating a household budget together can save your relationship from a lot of arguments and even the possibility of the relationship ending.
True Colors of Incompatibility Will Show
Now, just in dating, you’re able to pick up on differences in each other, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. There’s no fun in dating someone that’s just like you… part of the fun in dating someone is the fact that they’re different. But moving in with someone can show ALL the differences and sometimes that can be a little overwhelming and really put a relationship to the test.
Anything from cleaning habits, tempers, and even snoring can all be things you never realized at first but are picking up on now that you live together. When it comes to things like that, communication is key, especially when it’s a new experience for both of you. Talk the differences out and then see how things improve.
Lifestyle Habits are Soon Going to Change
When you lived by yourself, you were able to do whatever you want and stay up as late as you want, but being that you live with your significant other now, certain things will change and both will have to make sacrifices and compromises.
For example, early birds and night owls. Bedtimes aren’t the only differences between the two extremes. Psychology Today states that early birds (morning people) tend to be more cooperative and agreeable whereas night owls (evening people) tend to have lower dopamine levels and picked up on bad habits.
Someone who likes to stay up late should at least try to keep it down for their partner who goes to bed early. The same goes for the person who likes to wake up early; they should try not to disturb the person who likes to sleep in.
Irritation will Set In
It’s no secret… you’re going to get on each other’s nerves. I mean you already get on each other’s nerves as it is, it’s just going to intensify once you live together. Now, that’s not necessarily a bad thing though. Finding out each other’s annoyances helps you get to know your partner better and both of you will know which buttons to not push with each other.