Its human nature to want to help others, especially loved ones. When we see them struggling or making bad decisions one naturally feels the need to help Although, sometimes they are not ready or willing to be helped.
Not everyone wants to change or is ready to change, some people have to go through their issues/ problems in their own time and when they are ready, they will make the necessary change.
Constantly feeling the need to fix or change someone can end up draining you to a point of exhaustion.
its hard because we are friends with or love the person who we think needs to change due to the fact that we only want the best for them.
However, sometimes our advice isn’t the best thing for them. It becomes even harder when we think that their problems are affecting us and this is why we feel the need to help them solve it. The thing is, their problems are out of our control and wanting to, or feeling the need to change them is linked to the need to control, which only leads you down a futile path. It’s best to just be there for them and kindly guide them towards change instead of forcing them to swim against the current.
Here are 5 reasons as to why you shouldn’t try change someone or try solve their problems:
1. When you try to solve the problems of someone who doesn’t want to change you can easily come off as nagging or annoying because you are constantly giving unwanted advice to someone who doesn’t want your advice can lead to conflict and stress which then impacts a relationship.
2. When we want to try and change someone we assume we know better than them in regards for what’s best for them. This can be seen as taking on an air superiority and sometimes you can come across as being patronizing, even when you don’t mean to be.
3. When you start to make decisions for other people you begin to take away their ability to make decisions for themselves.
4. If they don’t change we can become resentful towards them because our efforts aren’t being appreciated.
5. When we want to change others we can easily get distracted from solving our own problems because for some reason fixing other peoples problems are easier than fixing our own.
The only way someone will change is if they are willing to.
They need to see themselves in the mirror before making the decision to make a change.