Why the approval of others is so darn important for us?
We spend our whole lives seeking the love and appreciation of people around us. But is it really worth it?
Nowadays, social acceptance is everything. We feel completely worthless if we don’t fit into some made-up social standards. What makes us happy these days is being accepted by the mass. But life isn’t only about fitting in and being one of the many.
You need to be careful not to let this approval-seeking turn into an obsession.
Once this behavior becomes your main goal, you might lose touch with your true self, and that’s the worse thing you could ever do to yourself.
Below are listed 8 solid reasons why you should stop caring about what others think of you.
Have them in mind, unless you want to completely lose yourself in an attempt to be accepted by society.
1. Seeking approval is time-consuming.
Just think about how much time you waste waiting for others to notice and recognize you. Not only this shows your lack of self-esteem, but it consumes all of your time and energy. Instead of working on and for yourself, you invest your precious time into seeking others’ validation. This way you might miss dozens of valuable opportunities.
2. It drains your energy.
While you overthink and try to come up with new ideas on how to make others like you, you waste valuable energy. In such times, you fill your mind with anxious thoughts about why you don’t fit in. You focus on your insecurities, which wastes all of your mental energy. Instead, you can focus on your positive qualities and start working on the areas you need to improve. But don’t do it for someone else, do it for yourself.
3. You can’t force someone to like you.
To begin with, you need to accept that it’s impossible to be adored by everyone. Besides, people-pleasers are never well-accepted by anyone. Some people will disagree with you, some will disapprove of your actions, some will even hate you. Every single person has their own preferences and their own views about the world. You’re just not everyone’s cup of tea.
4. What people think of you is beyond your control.
As mentioned, different people have different preferences. What you might love, others might hate. What others might like, you might not even understand. It’s just the way it is. We all have different perceptions of how we should live our lives. This diversity is much needed nowadays, as the majority of people are trying too hard to look and behave alike.
5. You don’t need anyone’s approval to be happy.
Your happiness isn’t something you receive as an award once everyone accepts you. It’s something you create with your own mind and soul. Even if everyone seems to like and appreciate you, if you don’t know how to love yourself, there will still be an unfilled void in your heart. This void won’t be filled until you learn how to be at peace with yourself. Others’ approval has nothing to do with that.
6. No one controls your life but you.
You can fully understand this, only if you stop paying attention to what others think of you. Constantly seeking people’s approval is too darn overwhelming. Instead of investing all of your energy into trying to fit into a certain community, invest it in getting to know yourself. You are not just a part of a movement or a tribe. You are a whole, purposeful, able, and valuable person. Don’t let anyone take this away from you.
7. You are free to be yourself.
When you no longer care about what the society believes is appropriate, you will finally see how wonderful it is to feel good in your own skin. Having the freedom to be yourself is one of the most precious gifts life has given you. All you need to do is to open your eyes to see it.
8. The only person you should get approved by is YOU.
At the end of the day, all that matters is whether you’re at peace with yourself. As long as you practice self-love and take good care of your wellbeing, others’ opinion wouldn’t have the power to affect you. Someone once said that there are only two people in your life you need to impress – your 5-year-old self and your 80-year-old self. No one else truly matters.
Hopefully, you’ll soon realize how much you are missing when you are obsessing over society’s standards.
