To stay or to leave the relationship?
It’s never easy to take the decision to leave a long-term partner with who we’ve been through a lot. There are hundred thousand of factors that could bring a relationship to an end. But a split-up is more or less a matter of an individual choice and most of the people have ambivalent feelings about it.
A new research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science explored the topic. They studied couples just before a split-up and found out that partners on the verge of separation gave equal reasons about choosing to leave or to stay.
Why people break up
According to the study most people wanted to break up because they were too attached to the partner. This made them feel extremely anxious when thinking about possible disappointment or rejection. The people were afraid that losing someone they had established strong emotional connection with would be too painful.
All the 447 study participants gave the same other reasons for breaking up. Regardless of their age or marital status, they stated the same common factors. Starting from emotional differences, false expectations to imbalance in the partnership or cheating.
Which couples stay together
The interesting part came when participants had to explain why they would stay together. The answers varied significantly depending on the marital status. On one hand, were the people dating for some time. They preferred to stay with the partner mainly because they were very fond of the loved person’s character traits. Another reason was the fact their partner complemented them emotionally. Family couples, on the other hand, didn’t point out feelings as the main reason to keep their relationship.
The most common factor they stated were the mutual family responsibilities and obligations. Another important reason was that they were too much used to living in a “family nest”. That’s why, being single again came with big dose of uncertainty and married people just couldn’t take it.
A break-up is never black or white
As can be seen, according to the statistics published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, the most common reasons for a split-up can be summed-up in a list of a few. And attachment anxiety is at the top of it. But is this really the case? Is it realistic to believe there’s only one reason to end a long-term relationship?
Isn’t it more logical to think that a split-up happens because of many negative factors that accumulate and influence the two partners? On the top of that, we shouldn’t forget that to break up with the one you love is a personal decision. It’s something that comes from within the couple. And since every couple is unique, so are the reasons for the partners to part ways.