A relationship with a narcissist can be really challenging when it comes to your mental health.
There are many ways they can put you down and make you feel like you are always doing something wrong. Just because you love them, you are eagerly trying to find different explanations about their behavior. You hope that one day they will change. Unfortunately, they most likely won’t.
However, it’s not always easy to see if your partner is a narcissist, or just a little bit too confident.
Here are 6 signs you might be in a relationship with a narcissist.
1. They want to be the center of attention
At first, narcissists appear insecure. They are always seeking validation from others. Their need to be the center of attention isn’t a problem at the beginning and you hope that they’d grow out of it. The know-it-all attitude can even seem charming at times. Eventually, you realize that they are being like this all the time and they are not going to change this behavior any time soon.
2. They are not empathetic
In any relationship, both sides should be caring and empathetic. However, narcissists don’t seem to care about anyone else but themselves. Even though you listen to their problems or give them compliments to boost their self-esteem, they are never doing this for you. In fact, the lack of empathy is a huge red flag if you’re dealing with a self-centered person.
3. They are acting rude in social situations
Whenever you go to a formal event or a weekend gathering with friends, your partner is often making fun of you in an insulting way. And if you tell them this makes you feel uncomfortable, they say that you are being too sensitive and boring. This is a typical behavior for narcissists. Somehow mocking and humiliating others makes them feel good about themselves. They don’t realize that this verbal abuse is seriously damaging both your relationship and your mental health.
4. They burn bridges with friends and family
You’ve noticed at the beginning that your partner doesn’t really have many friends. This isn’t bothering until you see how they are treating your friends and even your family. Often when you invite guests at home, it ends up the same way. Your partner is stealing the spotlight and says or does things that make the others quite uncomfortable and offended. When you bring this up, a narcissistic partner would say that they didn’t do anything wrong and actually he or she was the one who is hurt.
Every time when you point out something that’s bothering you or hurting your feelings, a narcissist would find a way to turn things around. For instance, if you tell them they did something that humiliated you in a way, they’d say that you provoked them to do so. They are always playing the victim and accusing you of being the bad one in the relationship. Don’t allow yourself to believe them.
6. They don’t know boundaries
Whenever you try to stand up for yourself and assert boundaries, your narcissistic partner is blaming you for putting the borderline too far. At the same time, they would overstep this line without even thinking about it. A self-absorbed person would cross your boundaries in many ways, including invading your personal space, borrowing things without returning them and treating you disrespectfully in front of other people. Your relationship needs healthy boundaries. Notice what is triggering you and be clear that you won’t tolerate suchlike behavior.
If you can relate your partner’s behavior to these signs, then you are in a relationship with a narcissist. You need to realize that their constant disrespecting attitude isn’t going to change. You have to take some action. The thought of being alone may seem terrifying but staying in a toxic relationship is far worse. The best thing you can do is to end this hell you’re living in and move on.
Whether you’ve been in this relationship for years or months, you are going to need time to heal. It’s difficult to get back on your feet when you’ve constantly been told how incompetent and worthless you are. Forgive yourself for letting another person controlling with your life and never let that happen again.
Narcissists are masters of manipulation and it’s almost impossible to spot them at the beginning.
Remember to be kind to yourself and don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t see before.