“She’s sweet but a psycho.” No, she is not sweet. She is abusive!

Being psycho is not sweet. It’s emotionally abusive!

As the famous American singer Ava Max once sang, “Oh, she’s sweet but a psycho.” Well, in reality, that’s rarely the case.

We need to stop romanticizing the “crazy girlfriend” trope. Sure, women in that category might be intriguing at first, but their behavior is much more disturbing than appealing. Sometimes their love obsession is seen as charming because they are usually caring and deeply invested in their significant others’ lives. However, if by trying to protect their partners, they start disrespecting their boundaries, their attitude can no longer be deemed “sweet.” In fact, that’s when it becomes abusive.

In case you can relate to the “psycho girlfriend” analogy, you might be in need of a serious reality check.

Of course, expressing your affection for your loved one is not wrong. Being able to show your true feelings is one of the most beautiful parts of every romantic relationship. But if you get to the point where your passion crosses certain lines and makes your partner uncomfortable and insecure, you might be severely affecting their mental health, despite having “good intentions.”

What happens when the affection turns into an obsession?

If you are convinced you are the only person your partner needs in their life, and you go the extra mile to alienate them from others, including their friends and family members, you are not caring, or overprotective – you are obsessive. What’s even worse is that you are manipulating the one you think you love. 

When your behavior makes your significant other feel threatened, your relationship can never be healthy. What you may perceive as romantic, might be emotionally damaging for the one you love. For instance, if you experience possessive thoughts, extreme jealousy, and a constant need for reassurance, your partner may feel intimidated and mentally unstable when spending time with you. 

What’s more, if you frequently behave that way, there might be risks for your own wellbeing. There is a condition called Obsessive Love Disorder(OLD), in which you become obsessed with one person you think you may be in love with. According to Healthline, OLD can often accompany other types of mental health illnesses. Although it is a relatively rare condition, it should never be overlooked, especially when it comes to your or your loved one’s emotional stability. 

When did society come up with the idea that being psycho is sexy?

There are many examples of beautiful women being out of their minds in movies, books, and other media. These crazy ladies are often presented as attractive, provocative, and often relatable. They stand out from the crowd with their different way of viewing the world around them, and many find their eccentric behavior quite engaging. This may be the reason why a phrase like “cute but psycho” exists in our everyday vocabulary. 

However, people often overlook the dark side of having a crazy girlfriend. She is possessive, manipulative, and unpredictable in the worst way possible. She can make you feel stuck in a relationship which brings out your biggest insecurities. The cute nutty girl you met can turn into an obsessive nightmare. 

Breaking things, shouting on the street, or disappearing without calling for days only to keep someone on their toes is not sexy or cute. Besides, it is definitely not something that will help fix a broken relationship. It could actually make things way worse. 

On the contrary, some women are called psychotic only because they are emotional. 

The Washington Post author Harris O’Malley writes

“When women are too emotional, we say they are being irrational. Crazy. Wrong.”

In other words, sometimes your partner may call you insane for being a little more sensitive than them. But if you truly believe your love for one another is genuine, you must tell them how you really feel. Bottling up your emotions is not going to save your relationship. It is going to make you experience a mental breakdown, which may destroy it. 

So, instead of constantly being on the verge of a breakdown, or acting abusively towards your loved one, try to be more open about your feelings, while also respecting their boundaries. Give them space from time to time. Don’t stop them from gathering with their friends and family. Being able to spend some time apart, while doing the things you individually enjoy, is crucial for the health of your bond. 

Violating the lines your partner begged you not to cross is not sweet. So, please, stop romanticizing the “crazy girlfriend” trope. It’s abusive.

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