There has been some discussion regarding the topic of respect and love in relationships: supposedly men need respect, and women need love. However, many women aren’t finding love because they haven’t found respect.
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships, and has over three decades of counseling as well as scientific research behind him. In his latest book, “Love and Respect,” Eggerichs explains why the needs of each sex in a relationship may be varied, it is certainly not to say that men only need respect (not love) and women only need love (not respect).
There needs to be a balance of both. If the man in the relationship doesn’t respect the woman, then he surely can’t love her.
Here are 6 ways all men should respect women in a relationship:
1. Pay Attention
Whether she is simply telling you about a funny thought she had the other day, or pouring her heart out about how something has made her feel, pay attention. We share things and express our emotions with you because we trust you enough to do so. If a man can’t afford a few moments of his time to show a woman that he respects and can pay attention to her, then he shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place.
2. Support Her When She Needs It Most
Her dreams, her ambitions, her goals- support her in all of these. Most women are dreamers, but they are also doers. Regardless if someone is in their corner cheering them on, or not, they will get stuff done. But if a woman is in a relationship with a man who doesn’t support her, then he obviously doesn’t respect her either.
3. Communicate Openly
Listen, and respond. One of the best ways to show someone you respect them, is to communicate with them in an open and trusting manner. Say what you have to say, and don’t hold things in. When a man shows he is able to speak from his heart, without holding anger inside, or resentment, then he is showing respect. The silent treatment, or ignoring someone, is just plain rude. If something is bothering either partner in the relationship, they should make it known instead of holding it inside.
4. Make Her A Priority
We’re not saying make your life revolve around her, and worship her like the goddess she is (although if you both are cool with that go for it!), but rather, make it known to her that she is important to you. When it comes to making a choice of either helping her with something she needs, or doing your own thing, sometimes the decision needs to be the former. The reason? Because more than likely she has made you a priority on several occasions, and it’s nice to return the favour.
5. Show Kindness
We all have bad days, and when it comes right down to it, we really want our partner to be there for us and bring a little sunshine into our life. Some days make it impossible for us to find the light ourselves, so a little act of kindness can go a long way. Give her a random compliment, smile and give her a hug, make a surprise dinner for her- merely making the effort to try and lift our spirits means the world to us and is a huge sign of respect.
6. Be Honest
This is a no-brainer, right? Unfortunately, some men think they can do all of the above and leave out the most important part- honesty. Without honesty there can never be any level of respect. If you aren’t honest with a woman, how can you expect her to be anything except let down, angered, and confused? And yes, there will be times where being honest might not be the most pleasant option, but in the long run she will appreciate you more for it than lying to her.
Bottom line: The best way to earn respect from anyone is to respect yourself.
As Dostoevsky once said, “If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self respect will you compel others to respect you.”
By Raven Fon