3 Reasons Why It’s IMPOSSIBLE To Win With A Narcissist
Apart from him or her making your life a living hell, a narcissist will find a way to drain you of your precious time, your healthy emotional and mental state, and your self esteem.
At any given point in our life, we may cross paths with a person who thinks the world revolves around them. They constantly exhibit manipulative and arrogant behaviour, they are self absorbed and egotistical and will trample on your achievements so the spotlight shines only on them.
These kinds of people are known as narcissists.
They have an overpowering sense of entitlement. Apart from him or her making your life a living hell, a narcissist will find a way to drain you of your precious time, your healthy emotional and mental state, and your self esteem.
Learning to live with one of these types of people means learning to accept defeat. Why is that? Well it’s because regardless of how hard you try, or how much you truly believe things can change, you simply can not win. A relationship with a narcissist only benefits them, and leaves the other party asking themselves if they were crazy, if they were the problem, or what they did wrong.
There are countless ways in which a narcissist can affect your daily life, so here are some pointers that can you to break free of a narcissistic relationship (if ever you find yourself entangled in one).
1. Narcissists prey on the those that conform to their ways.
When it comes to dealing with such a selfish person, we often find that letting them have their way seems like the easier route. Example: you kindly ask said person to meet you at a certain place at a certain time and they show up at the time that best suits them without even a hint of an apology. It’s easier just to move on when it comes to resolving the issue.
If it were the other way around, you would be the one endlessly apologizing. If you are not the type to deal with that kind of blatant hypocrisy, then you wouldn’t be in this predicament.
Narcissists will never appreciate your endeavors to keep them happy. No matter how much love you show them, or the favours you do for them that are never returned, your efforts are forever lost on them.
2. Nothing you do for them is ever good enough.
Narcissists will rope in those that they can demand perfection from. If you’ve ever been close to one you’ve probably felt the need to be a perfectionist since the bar is set unrealistically high.
As Pavel G. Somov, Ph.D Writes “In sum, they are intolerant of imperfection as they feel it reflects unfavorably on them. If they are perfect and everything around them is perfect, then others will respond to them as perfect, and then, and only then, will they buy into the perfect reflection in the social mirror and finally feel good about themselves, if only for a brief moment.”
3. Putting their needs before your own will lead to you losing your sense of self.
Overly critical analysis of everything you do, and passing of judgement, are two of the most effective weapons in the arsenal of a narcissist. Burying your self image further inflates their ego because it brings you down. Their influence leads you to doing things and buying stuff based off what they regard as good.
This is how people that are influenced by narcissistic behaviour lose their sense of individuality. Do things that you want to do; not because they told you to do it, but because you have your own individual desires.
If you want to set yourself up for a healthy relationship, then boundaries are needed. It’s the only way to make sure that your needs are met, as well as the other party’s. And don’t get me wrong, I understand the “live and let live” mentality and practice it most of the time. But sometimes, just sometimes, it is necessary to guard yourself against those types who prey on others and intentionally seek out victims.
Put the extra effort and care into yourself, instead of the narcissist, in your relationship. Then, one day, you will become the confident person the narcissist pretends to be.
By Raven Fon