What does it mean to be conscious?
“Consciousness” is defined simply as being aware of one’s surroundings, which I think makes this one of the most powerful words in our shared human languages. Being aware of our surroundings is far and away one of the most important things we do as people. It keeps us from saying the wrong thing and getting eaten by bears.
So what does it mean to have a conscious relationship?
It is a similar principal to consciousness as it’s defined, but instead of applying awareness to the world around you, you apply it to your partner and your relationship as a whole.
But what are the signs of a conscious relationship?
Here are 5 qualities that you find in a conscious relationship.
1. Honest and clear communication.
Communication is the hallmark of a conscious relationship. But just because a couple communicates doesn’t make their relationship a conscious one. Communication shouldn’t have to come with a calculus – a determination of whether communication will result in a fight and weighing the pros and cons of speaking your truth.
In a conscious relationship, honest communication flows freely from partner to partner without fear of retribution or negative consequences. Each partner in a conscious relationship welcomes the words of the other and doesn’t treat language like a weapon. They know that speaking out about their needs won’t drive their partner away, but will bring them even closer.
2. A constant focus on growth.
A stark difference between a regular relationship and a conscious relationship is that in a conscious relationship, the growth is endless. The goal isn’t to get into a relationship, but to perfect that relationship over time with lots of effort, work, and communication.
In a conscious relationship, there is a constant focus on growth and personal development. Some of that development happens together, some of it happens apart. There is no stagnation in a conscious relationship. Things are always dynamic, changing, and lots of growth is enjoyed by both partners.
3. Personal responsibility.
Two partners in a conscious relationship will always take ownership and personal responsibility for the ongoings of their lives. This manifests itself in a few different ways. Of course, if a person in a conscious relationship has done something wrong, they’ll take responsibility for it and try to grow from it, but it also means simply taking care of the business of life and being in a relationship.
Relationships are portrayed as two people together forever in love traveling the world going on cruises and so on. In reality, it’s two people together at the moment paying bills on time and trying to keep it all going. In a conscious relationship, both partners take personal responsibility for the boring nuts-and-bolts aspects of a relationship.
4. Respect for boundaries and choices.
At the outset, you may have expected this article to perhaps be about the souls of the partners in the relationship, that there would be some beautiful spiritual unity between the two. Two people blissed out on each others’ beliefs isn’t a sign of a conscious relationship. Perhaps the best example of a conscious relationship was between a Buddhist and a Southern Baptist Christian. They did not, in any way, see eye to eye spiritually. But their relationship was still a conscious one.
Respect for personal choices and boundaries is vital in a conscious relationship. We make decisions by ourselves for ourselves and that has to be respected by our partner. Not only do we accept these differences, we embrace them!
5. Acknowledgement that perfection is impossible.
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, and a relationship in which both partners have decided that growth has ended is one that will never be a conscious relationship. Partners in a conscious relationship recognize that their relationship is not a perfect one, and that it never will be.
To be conscious means to be aware, and that is all it takes to be in a conscious relationship.
To be truly aware and appreciative of the relationship. Communicate. Grow. Take responsibility. Respect choices. Acknowledge that perfection isn’t possible.