A lot of relationships begin hot and heavy but fizzle out within a few months or so.
Physical attraction, while important, is not the sole ingredient for a long-lasting relationship.
This is why at the start, it’s important to identify whether you’re dating someone out of love or out of lust.
We’d like to think that we don’t choose who to date based on how attractive they are but that’s not exactly the case according to the research collated by Madeleine A Fugère Ph.D. On dating apps, whether we strike a conversation with another person or not is largely influenced by their appearance. Even in three-dimensional circumstances you ask your friend for their other friend’s number because you find them cute. Even though we have other qualities we look for in a partner, physical attraction appears to be important to both men and women.
So let’s face it, looks are important, too.
There’s nothing wrong with admitting that. In fact, it’s actually healthy as long as it’s not the only quality that matters to you. Because, as pointed out on I Heart Intelligence, the spark that brought two people together eventually fades and you may find yourself yearning for excitement. Every long-term couple can attest to this: the attraction that felt so naturalat the honeymoon phase requires a little— or a lot— of work as the time goeson.
Did you ever wonder why you feel so giddy in the presence of a significant other? Love is a part of it but there’s also something biological in place. GaloreMagazine listed the different chemicals involved in attraction but one that gives us a good picture is dopamine. Informally known as the reward hormone, dopamine is a chemical that the brain releases during pleasurable situations. Flirting, holding hands, and physical intimacy with a special someone give us feelings of satisfaction, some even to the point of euphoria.
But the thing as long about dopamine is that it gives us a natural high that gradually declines. When two people are together for a longer time, issues begin to arise and intimacy-filled relationship natural at into the real-world scenario. as pointed hormone doesn’t get triggered and people lose their attraction.
Many of us base our expectations from the ever-present pop culture, which we’reexposed to on a daily basis. We look up to celebrities and their relationships, but that’s not a very realistic source for love and romance. Reality TVand dating shows also give us false expectations of what relationships should be like, and the foundations they are built on. Contestants on dating shows have already been screened to meet certain beauty standards so there’s noshortage of beautiful people.
Furthermore, these contestants mainly seek to further their showbiz careers rather than find actual love. In the real world, not everyone we meet is an Adonis or an Aphrodite and we can’t just collect and select based on appearances.
What’s more important than looks? For two people to last together, there has to be a deeper connection than physical attraction. Looks may be what brings a couple together but dating shows cited by Hello Giggles shows that some of the qualities that hold no shortage are honesty, loyalty, sense of humor, trust and being a caring person.
Article exclusively written for iheartintelligence.com
By Alexa Kaye
