Narcissists and sociopaths are masters of disguise, and it can be incredibly difficult to tell when you are dealing with one until it’s too late.
You’re already involved with this person, and they chip away at your self-confidence and self-esteem constantly. Keep an ear open to these phrases and if you start to hear them frequently from your partner, get out!
Complete the sentence. Crazy, psycho, jealous, manipulative, etc. etc. Red flags should especially come up if your partner calls their ex these things, because it won’t be too long before you’re lumped in along with them. Narcissism and sociopathy gets in the way of a person’s ability to understand that they are part of the problem. They’ll just pile the blame on you.
2. “I hate drama.”
If you feel the need to say this, there’s a very good chance you are lying. The fact of the matter is sociopaths and narcissists love drama; they thrive in chaos, especially of their own creation. They still maintain contact with exes and old friends to keep themselves involved in chaos anywhere they can. They are constantly looking to stir the pot. If they make this proclamation, examine closely why they are saying it.
3. “You misunderstood me.”
Again with the “you” statements. Adults who begin conversations with “you”-facing statements demonstrate that they have no ability to take on responsibility themselves. Conversely, adults who know how to have productive conversations around difficult things use “I”- facing statements like, “I may have misunderstood…”
4. “You’re too sensitive.”
Yet another “you” statement, except this one is laced with accusation meant to poke at your sensitivities. News flash: nobody is too sensitive. We all have various degrees of sensitivity and need to honor that, as well as be with a partner who also honors that. Much of the time they will start by complimenting you incessantly, and then these compliments turn into criticisms. By the time you’ve had it with their criticizing and are mentally and emotionally overwhelmed, they accuse you of being overly sensitive.
5. “You can’t live without me.”
Or some variant of this yes, another, you-facing phrase. Sociopaths and narcissists don’t love you; they love to control you. They do so by making you believe this kind of thing. Stop believing this now, and get as far away as you can from this person. Not only can you survive without them, you must in order to preserve who you really are. Don’t be bullied into believing this is true. Just pack your bags and get out!!
Is your relationship chaotic, drama-filled, with really large swings up and down? You don’t have to stay; you can get out anytime. Let us know what you think of this article in the comments below.