Falling in love is one of the greatest joys life has to offer. Most people look forward to settling down with their one true soulmate. Unfortunately, in our rush to fall head over heels, we may overestimate our partner’s affection and commitment. This is an error that’s bound to end in heartbreak.
“Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt?!
So, how do we protect ourselves from emotional disaster without blocking our hearts off from love? The answer is right in front of you. Observe your partner’s behavior. Listen to what they say. Read between the lines. What are they not saying? Do their actions align with their words? Be honest with yourself about what you see. Don’t clutch so tightly to a fantasy that you let the real thing pass you by.
So – is your partner ready for the long haul?
Here are seven ways you can tell:
Your partner says “I love you” in a casual context.
The ability to say these words in the course of everyday life shows certainty and comfort. Watch out for a partner who says it only in romantic situations. They might be using these words without meaning them, to meet your expectations and cultivate an amorous atmosphere. A partner who only says “I love you” in response to you saying it first may be unsure of their feelings. Look for sincerity and comfort in your partner’s declarations of affection.
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Your partner mentions building a family.
A person who asks how you feel about marriage and children is trying to envision a future with you. One who does not might not be ready to commit. They might also be afraid of scaring you off. Either way, it is likely that they feel your relationship is not yet at a point where they are looking towards a permanent commitment.
Your partner has introduced you to their family and friends.
This is a big step. If your significant other wants you to meet their inner circle, it is likely that they already see you as an important part of their life. They are committed to the relationship, and they are proud of the person you are. It also shows that they value their relationships with family members and close friends.
Your partner is willing to compromise.
When your significant other goes out of their way to make you happy, they are showing you that they value the relationship more than their own comfort. It also demonstrates a sense of maturity that is necessary in a long term commitment. Be sure to return this courtesy by making sacrifices of your own. This is good practice for marriage.
Your partner goes out of their way to spend time with you.
Time is our most strictly limited resource. Anyone can spend money on you, or shower you with compliments and praise. It takes a truly committed person to sacrifice their time for you. This is a sure sign that your partner is looking toward building a future together.
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Your partner asks lots of questions.
In a happy relationship, you and your significant other should strive to constantly learn more about one another. A partner who asks lots of questions is deeply interested in who you are. This shows curiosity, care, and affection. These qualities will keep your relationship alive.
Your partner likes to hold hands.
Non-sexual touching shows a level of fondness and comfort that goes beyond simple physical attraction. These little bits of contact deepen your emotional connection and keep you in sync with one another. If your partner likes to hold hands in public, they might be proud to show you off. They may also be nervous and looking to you for security. Either way, frequent hand holding is a very good sign.
“To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect,” wrote Criss Jami. Don’t wait for a perfect person. Choose someone who is imperfect, and build a perfect love. Just make sure they are committed to doing the same.