Author: Greg Popham
Outgoing introvert sounds like an oxymoron, but there are some of us that fall into this category anyways.
Some of us can do well and maintain an outgoing personality when it comes to work or social situations but in reality we don’t need others to make us happy. In fact, some of us would rather be out on a boat all by ourselves with only birds and fish to keep us company.
So here are some signs that you may be an outgoing introvert:
1. You Don’t Like Social Goodbyes
You love being with family and friends and always show up for these social situations but at the end of the night you just want to leave quietly without saying any goodbyes.
2. You are Not Anti-Social but Selectively Social
For an outgoing introvert, it may be hard for you to meet people that you like. You prefer people with special qualities that make you feel comfortable. These qualities may include having your special interests as something they are already into or are predisposed to enjoy. Finding the right partner for an outgoing extrovert takes a lot of time. You may be very finicky as to who you hang out with and this agrees with you very much.
3. You Don’t Like Extroverts
Outgoing introverts do not like small talk. When confronted by them you may feel that they are overconfident and pushy, which is very far from the way you are. When you deal with people you may focus on what it is that is really going to help them rather than on the sale of your product. Extroverts will just push the product and try to convince people that this is the one that they need without feeling for what it is they actually need. They may have better quotas by being pushy, but you actually help your customers by figuring out what they really need without regard for pushing a promoted product.
4. You are Often Confused for an Extrovert
Outgoing introverts are often confused for being just extroverts only because they know they have to be that way for the situation at hand. Extroverts focus on the outside world, often needing validation from others validate their ideas. Introverts do not need much validation from others but are able to have great empathy in order to internalise what needs to be done. You appear to be an extrovert but are really not. You just do what needs to be done, but you do it in a different way than others.
5. You Need Your Time Away from Others
An outgoing introvert needs time away from others or they will not be good for anyone else. Usually, this may just be an hour or two a day away from all other people. This refills your tank and allows you to be good at being an extrovert again. You can be the life of the party but only if you get that time alone. If you live with an outgoing introvert you need to give them their ‘time away’ or you will be subject to a not so good experience with them. They do really well when they have some time alone and this needs to happen every day.
6. You Process Rewards Differently
Extroverts seem to always ask others for praise. Outgoing introverts like praise but they will never ask for it from others. They want to be noticed but are not so extroverted that they will ask for such. They prefer others to promote them for their intrinsically good qualities or achievements. In a 2013 study published in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that people who are naturally introverted do not process rewards from external factors as strongly as extroverts do.
If you identify with a majority of the points made above, you may be an outgoing introvert.
If you know someone else that does perhaps you will be able to better understand them and what it is they need to make them good for you and others. Outgoing introverts are a rare breed and can be very great people to know as long as you give them their time alone.
