Do you often find it impossible to function without your partner around? If you struggle to feel happy in your own company and you always rely on your partner, this article is for you. Here is why you might think you’re in love when you’re actually experiencing emotional dependency.
What is emotional dependency?
We often tend to misinterpret our feelings. When we think we are in love with somebody, we might actually be emotionally dependent on them.
Emotional dependency means that we devote our happiness to someone else’s presence. We believe that without our partner we are just not good enough and our lives are pointless. We rely entirely on someone else. What is more, we even act over-possessive at times because we fear losing them. Unfortunately, emotional dependency is likely to cause a harmful behavior and to hurt both you and your partner. It is closer to addiction than love.
Here are 7 signs you might be mistaken love for emotional dependency.
1. You are too needy
Being too needy means that you are always relying on your partner. For everything you do, you feel the need to ask for their help or their permission. You’ve almost forgotten what it was like without having them in your life. Although you’re a grown person, you often act childish when you’re not getting the attention or the appreciation you think you deserve.
2. You have time only for your partner
You barely even have time for your friends and family anymore. This relationship has made you so preoccupied with your partner that you want to spend all of your free time with them. This doesn’t mean you love your partner, it means that you are obsessed with them.
3. You lose your personality
Sometimes when we are in a relationship, we are trying too hard to appear similar to our partner so that they would be even more attached to us. For instance, we start to listen to the music they listen to, we watch their favorite movies, we even support ideas we’ve never approved before. You might think this is nothing serious, but in reality, it’s nothing but a lie. If you are not being yourself from the beginning, your relationship will never be genuine and honest.
4. You constantly seek your partner’s approval
Another sign of emotional dependency is that you are always seeking your partner’s approval. Sometimes you even feel worthless if they disagree with you in some manner. You need to understand that your partner is not the only valuable person in the world. They are only completing your life, not owning it. You have the right to make your own decisions and your own mistakes.
5. Your feelings are always your partner’s fault
Your moods are constantly changing and you start to believe it’s your partner’s fault. Well, it’s not. At least not only. Your perception of the world and your reaction to it is completely your own responsibility. In case you are frequently blaming your partner for the way you feel, you need to start working on yourself first.
Instead of sharing your life with your partner, you are acting like you own them. You feel like they are not your companion in life but one of your belongings. To add up, you can’t trust anyone around them anymore. The minute you feel like you are losing them, you start being extremely possessive. Needless to say, this is not an act of love but of emotional dependency.
7. You literally can’t live without your partner
You start losing touch with who you are without your partner. Perhaps you can’t even remember the person you were before you met your partner. In times when you two are separated for a while, you feel incomplete and unsteady. You rely on them on every step of your way. What you need to remember is that even without them, you are a complete and worthy person on your own.