Man brings up dead niece after sister doesn’t stop mocking his wife

A man stood up for his wife to his family but questions whether his approach was indecent. 

Although our society has been trying to teach people to show tolerance to the ones living with disabilities for ages, there are still quite a few careless beings that continue making fun of the different. Sometimes, as they do it, they don’t even realize they have been someone’s feelings with their words.

This is the story of one husband who stood up for his wife when his sister teased her about her colorblindness. But things are not so simple. While defending his loved one’s feelings, the man mentioned his late niece, who also had troubled eyesight.

The concerned husband now asks: “Am I the a**hole for bringing up my sister’s dead daughter?”

While every family has its issues, big or small, when relatives are making us feel insecure and bad about ourselves, we need to reconsider our relationship with them. Truthfully, cutting off toxic family members shouldn’t make us feel guilty. That is exactly what this man tried to do to protect his wife from his sister’s constant verbal abuse. As Perco Lately reveals, when things got too intense, he said something he now regrets mentioning. The man explains:

“My sister’s daughter passed away at the age of 9 about three years ago. It took an extremely huge toll on my sister and it was obviously devastating for the entire family. My late niece wore these thick glasses as her eyesight wasn’t the best—even at a really young age.

My sister has never truly recovered from this loss—no one is basically allowed to mention her late daughter’s name, otherwise she breaks down, or reacts really aggressively.

My wife is colorblind. She’s a strong deutan, but it doesn’t seem to affect her life that much. However, she is a little insecure about this fact as it makes her feel less than.”

The husband goes on describing the sensitive situation, saying that when his sister found out about his wife’s condition, she started carelessly making fun of it. He continues:

“My sister would hold up different colors of fabric that were all within the same hue more or less, or she would jokingly ask my wife if she wanted to go strawberry picking, or hold up those paint strips and ask my wife to differentiate between the shades. Everyone thinks it funny, but my wife is very uncomfortable with it.”

Even though the man repeatedly asked his sibling to stop ridiculing his wife, she wouldn’t stop. 

Eventually, he decided to distance himself from his family, as their mean comments made his significant other feel extremely uncomfortable.

One time, at a family event, despite having promised she would not mention his wife’s condition, the man’s sister failed to keep her promise. The man shares:

“Everything was going well at first – my wife was enjoying herself – which meant I was enjoying myself.

Until everything wasn’t going well.

My wife made a comment about how I don’t like driving, and my sister spurred on the comments. (How do you see traffic lights? Can you tell the color of the car next to you etc.)

My wife answered all my sisters questions (questions she’s probably been asked 700 times) but then, my sister started laughing at my wife’s answers – essentially making fun of her, my mom was getting in on the fun too.”

The husband got frustrated with his family’s behavior, which made him say something he now regrets.

“I was bothered, disappointed in myself for trusting my sister to refrain from making comments. I basically interrupted my sister, asking her, “How would you feel if (my late niece’s name) was getting made fun of for her eyesight?” My sister was silent.”

Understandably, his sister got mad as he was bringing up her deceased daughter. Even his wife believes he should not have said those things. His family agrees.

Asking for social media users’ opinions about the delicate situation, he got many positive responses claiming he was not in the wrong by standing up for his loved one.

“NTA[Not The A**hole]. It’s a terrible situation that you were put in after being assured that you wouldn’t be put in that position. Sometimes people don’t realize the implications of their actions. Be bringing up something painful, your sister will certainly pause and reconsider when she is tempted to say something smart.

It’s just rude, and bullying your wife is unacceptable. People have problems beyond their ability to control. Don’t be cruel.”  – kellyma1973/Reddit

“NTA- you didnt attack your niece you simply asked how would your sister feel if someone made fun of her child for an eyesight issue. She repeatedly hurt your wife and knew she did as you told her, but she kept going. I’m sorry she lost her daughter but that doesn’t give her the right to lash out at everyone and then act holier than thou when someone lashes back at her. The situation sucks but she brought it on herself.” – CoralGrimes007/Reddit

Other netizens insist that bringing up his sister’s late child was unethical.

What is more, in a story update, he admits he agrees he was wrong. 

“I can see how I was the asshole. My wife actually got more mad at me after she had some time to herself to think about it – She’s really happy and grateful that I stood up for her, and I probably had the best intentions, but I shouldn’t have asked that question as my sister is probably dwelling on that for way too long.”

The social media users who believe his approach was indecent commented:

“ESH[Evryone Sucks Here]. Your wife is the only one who comes out of this looking good. There was no reason to bring up your niece except that you knew it would get a reaction. I don’t know why your sister is so fixated on the colourblindness thing, and your wife shouldn’t have to put up with that, but bringing up dead kids is rarely a good conflict resolution strategy.” – thishenryjames/Reddit

“ESH Your sister sucks for her ‘pranks’ but you suck more for bringing up her dead child. No parent ever wants to outlive their child and she’ll spend the rest of her life wondering what her daughter’s life would have been.” – taylferr/Reddit

What is your opinion about the sensitive situation? Let us know in the comment section!

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