The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman sparked a fresh way of thinking about the concept of love. It was written in 1995 but has gained strong popularity recently.
So what are the 5 languages of love and what do they mean?
The five languages of love describe how we feel loved and appreciated depending on our individual personality types. Being aware of these different ways of showing love will help take the guessing work out of your partner’s expectations and desires.
Dr. Chapman believes there are five languages of love: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
1. Words of Affirmation
These are usually words of praise or appreciation – being grateful for the various ways that a person shows love (whether it is giving a gift, doing housework, spending the day together, giving a relaxing massage) or praising a partner for who they are, the things they do, and all the things you appreciate about him or her.
2. Acts of Service
Your significant other might speak this love language if they are a strong believer in the “Actions speak louder than words” proverb.
This love language is expressed by doing things that you know your partner would love. Cooking a tasty meal or helping out with whatever he or she may need are acts of service that require time, thought, and effort.
All of these things must be done with a positive attitude and with your partner’s ultimate happiness in mind to be received as an expression of love. Doing this out of obligation or with a questionable tone is something entirely different.
3. Receiving Gifts
Receiving gifts is naturally perceived as an act of love. However, Chapman notes that people often don’t realize that, for some people, receiving gifts is the main way through which they feel truly loved.
Depending on his or her preferences, gifts don’t necessarily have to be material things, they could also be sentimental – hand-picked flowers, a mixed CD, a handwritten letter of love.
4. Quality Time
This language of love is all about showering your partner with personal attention. This means no smartphones and other such devices, or any distractions whatsoever. If this is your partner’s native love language they don’t just want to be included during a special period of time, they want to be at the center of your attention. They want to be the only ones you look at.
Of course, this does not mean that you cannot cuddle up on the couch to watch TV; it simply means that you need to make sure to dedicate time for each other without all of the distractions. This will help your partner feel comforted in the relationship.
Every time you cancel or postpone time together or are not present when you should be with your partner, you can cause them harm as it can make them feel like you care more about other people, things, or activities than them.
Physical touch can come in many forms – caressing each other, holding hands, massaging, and so on. For many people, it is the most important expression of love.
Among these five categories, there are many more specific ways to give and be given love – and this can be a really exciting and meaningful conversation to have. If you know how you and the people around you give and receive love, everyone can have a deeper understanding of how to make each other feel loved, cherished, and cared for.
Which one of the five love languages would do you feel most connected to?
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