We’ve all had it happen: after one or two good dates, a connection you thought was growing suddenly drops off. It’s not a natural fizzle on both ends or a pleasant parting of ways. You’ve been ghosted, and you don’t know why. The first date went very well, and even led to a second. You got your hopes up. Then, before the partnership solidified into something real or substantial, he was gone. You were too close to be unaffected, but not close enough to demand answers without looking like a crazy person. It’s an awkward area to leave a relationship hanging. We took to the internet and asked a very wide range of people what made them lose interest in a potential partner early on – specifically between dates number two and five.
Here are their answers:
-He told me he doesn’t want kids. I have three children.
-She tried to sell me life insurance.
-He told me he was voting for Trump.
-She was rude to our waitress.
-He asked me if he could please braid my hair. It was weird.
-She was a smoker. She was also smoking hot, so I tried to look past it. I couldn’t.
-He told me he had a “thing” for Hispanic women. I am Hispanic.
-I found out she was married.
-He got very drunk and still insisted on driving me home. It was scary.
-I found out I was moving.
-He made several racist comments.
-She kept bringing up her ex-boyfriend.
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-He told me he’d done porn before.
-She literally spat on the floor – twice – while we were eating at a nice restaurant.
-Her breath was horrible.
-He was almost an hour late to pick me up for our third date.
-She didn’t laugh at any of my jokes.
-He told me he loves to hunt. I am a vegetarian and an animal rights activist. I also hate guns.
-I found out she bullied my sister in high school.
-He spent the whole date looking at his phone.
-I found out she dated my cousin – for like six years.
-He had no professional ambitions.
-We walked by a homeless person and she was openly disgusted, saying the city should get “those types” off the streets.
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-Life just got too busy.
-She stole something from a store during our date. She didn’t know I saw her.
-He didn’t offer to pay for my dinner.
-She was very obviously on drugs – acted completely different on the second date than the first. It was bizarre.
-His ex-wife followed us to the movies and sat in the back of the theater.
-She complained about everything.
-He lied about where he lived and what he did for work.
-He wanted to control every aspect of our date. I prefer to be the one calling the shots.
-The sex was terrible.
-She had several cats and her clothes were covered in cat hair. I’m allergic to cats and spent the whole date miserable. She seemed really nice, though.
-I missed my ex-boyfriend too much to continue dating someone new.
-She was boring and stuck-up.
-I just didn’t feel a spark.
-She asked me where I saw our future going. We had only known each other for two weeks.
-I found out he had a kid. I don’t want kids.
Relationships fizzle out for all of these reasons, and a million more. If you are comfortable with how you behaved on your date, then you need to find someone who accepts you for who you are. There are plenty of people out there who will love your kids and tolerate your pro-Trump enthusiasm. If you did something you wish you hadn’t, you can apologize and work on your behavior. There are plenty of other men and women out there to date, and the whole process can be somewhat of a learning experience. Give yourself time and patience, and be your best self.
