If you are aware of the behavioral patterns of narcissists, then you know that manipulation is their main strategy to take advantage of others.
However, there is another tactic they practice, especially in their romantic relationships, you probably don’t know about. This tactic is future faking.
What is future faking?
Usually, partners love making plans for the future. They envision the life they want to have together and manifest all the amazing things they expect to achieve as a couple. And it’s all fun and games until you realize you are in a relationship with a narcissist, and it was all one massive web of lies.
As described by Psychology Today, future faking is a courtship strategy in which narcissists talk to you in elaborate detail about all the wonderful things that the two of you will do together in the future while being absolutely convinced none of this is going to happen. The second they feel you are completely hooked on their deceptions, you’re doomed to disappointment after disappointment. The future you couldn’t wait for to happen becomes a destination you never want to reach.
How does future faking work?
When in a couple, narcissists put immense effort to say all the right things and make their partners feel on top of the world. If you have been in a relationship with such a toxic individual, then you know the drill. They shower you with compliments, they take you to places you have never been before, they make sure you have everything you need… Only to take it away. Unfortunately, future faking is part of the game.
With every move they make, they sell you the idea of a perfect future filled with love, compassion, and unforgettable moments of joy. And you buy it because you have been hurt before and your heavy heart now craves to be with someone who can offer you peacе. You want to be with someone who chooses you for who you are.
Sadly, whether we like to admit it or not, narcissists are pretty good at making you feel special. Hence, they effortlessly fool you into falling for their fairytale future plans that promise you everything you have ever wished for. But those promises never materialize.
The brutal combination of impulsiveness and lack of empathy a narcissist’s personality hides makes it way too easy for them to give you unrealistic expectations. And then it’s even easier for them to disappoint you by destroying every single dream they made you believe in.
Why do narcissists practice future faking?
First, it’s important to note that narcissists don’t always engage in future faking purposely. Sometimes they do mean the things they say at the moment of saying them. However, they are prone to changing their minds with the speed of light. Therefore, things they truly wanted to happen can eventually become things they never want to get close to.
On the other hand, narcissists who use future faking intentionally do it as another strategy to manipulate their partners. They perfectly realize that the fairytale picture they describe to you will never become a reality. In their minds, they have zero intention to do any of the things they have promised you.
No, you’re not going on that romantic vacation to Venice, you’re not going to get a house in the suburbs, and you’re not going to grow old together and live happily ever after. The sad truth is that all the things they let you dream about were nothing but micromanipulations.
So, conscious or not, when narcissists practice future faking, you inevitably end up disappointed and hurt.
Hopefully, now that you know what future faking is, you will be able to avoid falling victim to this manipulative approach.
If you have already been through a similar experience, we would love to learn how you handled the situation. Let us know in the comment section!