How narcissists convince people of their good intentions: 10 reasons why narcissists get away with everything
Narcissists are one of the most manipulative, deceiving, toxic beings in this world.
Yet, they almost always know how to get away with everything and convince you their intentions were good. Sadly, in the end, you realize they are nothing but the living proof that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Almost every single person in this world has had to deal with the toxic influence of a narcissist before. Whether it was a colleague, a classmate, a family member, or a romantic partner, they always have the same behavioral pattern.
First, they shower you with attention and poison your mind with their deceiving charm. Then, after they sense you’re starting to get emotionally attached, they start to control significant aspects of your life. They gaslight you, manipulate you, isolate you from people they don’t like, until one day they pull the strings of your whole life.
One question remains: Why do we keep letting narcissists treat us that way?
Why can’t we see through their deluding mind games? And how do they get away with anything so easily?
Here are 10 reasons why narcissists effortlessly get away with anything and convince you they always have good intentions.
1. They know how to give a great first impression.
People with narcissistic personalities are intelligent enough to know they first need to make a good impression. They are perfectly aware of the fact that in order to attract their victims, they need to seem friendly, charming, admirable even. During their first interactions with the subject of their interest, they usually present themselves as successful, happy, trustworthy, people. They intentionally create that deceiving image to grab their victim’s attention, and to be sure that the mind games they have planned will work.
2. They never take responsibility.
As you’re already caught up in their mind-trap, narcissists can easily make you believe they didn’t do anything wrong. Blame-shifting is one of their evil superpowers. They have mastered it so well, they can convince anyone their words and actions came from a good place, when in fact they were the ones who planned the whole mess. That’s how they always find a way to escape from taking responsibility.
3. They are willing to do anything to preserve their image.
Lies, betrayal, cheating, intrigues… A narcissist will do literally anything to fool their victims by making themselves look like they’re the good ones. They would go to insane extents, just to preserve the misleading image they have created for themselves. And we believe them, simply because a normal person wouldn’t cross such lines.
4. They know how to control their emotions.
Another skill narcissists have mastered is controlling their emotions. In other words, they can be emotionally detached, while their victim is mentally devoted to them. For instance, during a heated conflict, a narcissist can seem perfectly calm, while the other person is on the verge of an emotional explosion. This way, the crazy one in the situation is always the other person, while the toxic egocentric appears to be the reasonable one.
5. They have control over the people in their circle.
Narcissists want the whole world to be resolved around them. Their circle of people makes no exception. They usually surround themselves with friends and family who somehow always seem to think well of them. After all, it’s difficult not to consider someone good, when there are so many people who believe otherwise.
6. They isolate their victims.
The best way to control someone’s life is when there are no other people in it but you. Or at least that’s how narcissists work. While they are trying to make you believe they are worried about you and they care for you, they actually want you all for themselves. And when they finally manage to make you cut off all the other people in your life, you have no one else to vent to, so you start believing everything they say.
7. They make their victims question their reality.
Simply put, narcissists use gaslighting to fully control the subject of their mind games. In order to have more power over you, they make you question everything around you, even your own self. They make you believe untruthful things just because it suits them. This horrible form of manipulation can cause permanent emotional damage to the gaslighter’s victim.
8. They turn others’ kindness into a weakness.
Most times, a narcissists’ prey is a kindhearted human being with a benevolent personality and nothing but goodness in their heart. These genuine people naturally believe what others say, and often feel driven to help others. Sadly, that’s exactly why when they meet a narcissist, they cannot see their true colors and think of them as good, until they prove otherwise.
9. They prey on second chances.
Giving someone a second chance is never easy. Yet, we are still prone to forgive and forget, even when it’s about someone who has hurt us many times before. Although it happens quite rarely, when a narcissist does get caught, they rely on people’s forgiving nature. And when they receive forgiveness in the form of a second chance, the game restarts and they continue playing with your feelings.
10. There are no clear markers of narcissism.
Although narcissists are everywhere around us, there are no clear signs that tell if someone is one. Even if someone seems too self-centered, this doesn’t mean they are definitely manipulative and will try to use you. On the contrary, even if someone is helping you, it doesn’t mean they are doing it with good intentions. In fact, people can show signs of narcissism without being actual narcissists, just like someone’s aggressive reaction towards a single situation doesn’t make them a violent person. Many people think they would be able to tell if someone is a narcissist. However, in reality, you cannot recognize whether you’re being a narcissist’s victim until it’s already too late.