Here’s Why We Can’t Let Go Of Toxic Relationships, Even If We Know They’re Bad For Us
Human beings are wired for a life of habits, and as soon as they create a routine they can follow and keep with it for a long period of time, it becomes incredibly hard to get out of it, even it’s bad them.
As strange as it may sound, being in a toxic relationship where things are on a constant repeat and which lets you foresee the near future can be a source of security and comfort for some folks, and they don’t know how and whether they should put an end to it.
Living a familiar life with minor risks involved is something people seem to find quite appealing, and because of that feeling of familiarity, they end up in a never-ending circle of pain and confusion.
People’s pain can come from bad experiences growing up or a disappointing relationship that is tormenting them to this day.
And because they are so used to that pain, they feel that the toxicity in their relationship is something normal.
When you are undervaluing yourself, it is hard to go out and seek help. And being unquestioningly addicted to a toxic person when you are fooled by the guise of “love” only makes matters worse.
When we try to come up with lies to tell ourselves we often say: “Maybe this time he truly will change” or “It was my fault she reacted that way”, so we would feel more comfortable with being unable to say “Enough is enough” when it is the only logical thing left to do.
Many people will tell themselves anything that keeps them in their bubble and come up with the worst reasons to go back to those who hurt them because they have a desperate urge to believe they are doing what’s right.
Also, people tend to go back to their toxic lovers because it’s much easier than taking the time to meet someone new and opening oneself to potentially being hurt again.
Having invested so much of your time, energy, and heart in one person means that it won’t be easy to let go, and it’s much easier to go back time and time again and face disappointment than to dive into the unknown.
Facing uncertainty on your own can be frightening and that is why showing your vulnerability only to the one you spent so much of your life with can feel like the safest thing to do.
You know them like the back of your hand, and so do they. And once you find yourself distanced from them for a while, you start reminiscing on the few good moments you’ve experienced together, which in turn makes you justify to yourself why you should go back to them.
Getting back with a person who hurt you is often connected with issues of low self-esteem.
Trying to find a way out of a toxic relationship and only to go back and revive its corpse further contributes to feelings of worthlessness.
Such feelings can make us think that we are unworthy of true love and that the way we are being treated is what we actually deserve.
The feeling of not being good enough for true love is soul-shattering and only goes to show how little it takes to be manipulated into having the wrong image of ourselves.
Believing that the pain we experience is just part and parcel of the relationship we deserve is terribly wrong and damaging to us.
You don’t need to be told that you are worthy of love and affection. When your toxic partner tells you they’re the best you can ever hope for, know that you are being fooled. When they try to manipulate you into coming back, find the strength to say “No!” and walk away from them.
Walking away from a miserable relationship is always an option. Let go and find the one who deserves you and loves you for who you truly are. We are all deserving of love, NO EXCEPTIONS!
We hope that this article was of help to you. Let us know your thoughts on the topic by joining the conversation in the comments and please share with your friends and family if you believe they might benefit from this advice.