We are entering the most sociable time of year with lots of potential parties on the horizon. If you are on the look out for a possible love interest, this is the best time of year for it. It’s a wonderful opportunity for everyone to strut their stuff, and put on their best game faces for the objects of their desires. Yes, ’tis the season to be merry and it’s time to get flirting.
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The number one tip to successful flirting at parties, is to turn up. It’s quite simple, just make the effort to say ‘yes’ to as many invites as you possibly can. You never know who might be there and you have to be in it to win it. Besides it’s always good to spend time with new people.
So you’ve turned up, what next?
Here is a basic list of tried and tested tips to successful festive flirting to make your seasons even more joyful:
1- General Personal Appearance. (GPA)
Make an effort to groom yourself, wash well, trim that mane and shake out those best outfits. It is all about good appearance, confidence and having a positive attitude. There is nothing more appealing than having a well dressed and happy, confident person to hang out with, it will draw people to you as they wow at your wondrous charm.
Keep your body language smooth and open when flirting. Don’t tense up and cross your arms or hunch over like you’re enduring a blast of cold air. Lean toward the person you’re flirting with and imitate their body language in a subtle way.
2- Opening lines.
Say ‘hello’, there is no point in standing in the corner just waiting for people to approach you. People intrinsically want to connect, it’s human nature. Just smile and say hello, if it’s an already established group merrily conversing away, you can say ‘hello’ and stay nearby and quietly join in when appropriate, soon enough you will be included. It takes courage, but after the ‘hello’ hurdle, you’ve broken the ice and things should flow easily from there.
3- Have fun.
Be playful. There is nothing more attractive than lighthearted people having fun. Life is often hard and dull, so when people go out they want to have fun! Don’t go crazy though, this is not your own little floor show and over the top antics could have a detrimental affect. Also never joke at someone else’s expense, everyone is there to have fun, not be made fun of, there is nothing more distasteful than a bully, in any situation.
4- Use props.
Yes seriously, find a prop, or an accessory that will create a conversation or help draw people to you. I once was at a party where a guy had an old fashioned massive dialling phone instead of his mobile, he was dripping in women all night! It could be a hat or a feather boa or an invisible dog on a lead, who cares, take something to stimulate conversation and connections. I do not advise taking live animals, sex toys or firearms though. (I did however once get left with a sack full of live pythons at a beach party in Mexico, I had to look after them all night whilst their owner lay motionless passed out till morning, not fair on the snakes or on me.)
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5- Move closer.
If you are stuck in the corner or in a gaggle of noisy people, there is no way for the object of your admiration to know you are interested or even be able to reach you if the feeling is mutual. Proximity opens up conversation and opportunities, for dancing, for chatting and above all for direct contact and connection. Playful touches are a low-key way to flirt without being overtly sexual. A playful punch or poke, messing up his hair, or playing with her jewelry are fun ways to get close without going overboard.
6- Listen, and don’t talk too much.
Well, you can. But you should mainly be listening. When you ask someone questions, they open up and share something with you. It makes them like you more because they’ve invested in you. In return they should ask you questions and you will have the opportunity to talk too, if they do ALL the talking, I would be wary.
The key is to show interest by asking questions and listening. It’s flattering to have someone show a genuine interest in your opinions, likes, dislikes, and experiences. You also get to know this person and you can figure out if its someone you really want to get to know more, after all, the choice is yours.
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7- Make Eye Contact.
This is a really tough one for some people, especially if you are a little shy. But it is important, after all the eyes are the windows to the soul. Separated by distance and noise across a crowded room, that is all that you might have to work with, (unless you have a bag of snakes you can throw at them!).
Take your time when you walk into a party, pause, look around the room. Not only does this give you a chance to see who’s there, but you also get to see who’s checking you out. Eye contact is essential when flirting. But don’t overdo it—some people are not comfortable maintaining eye contact for long periods of time. Just use it for long enough to let the person know they’ve got your attention.
8- Give Compliments.
Everyone loves to get compliments, and compliments are a great way to flirt. Only give compliments that are genuine, and don’t get too personal. Hopefully you will receive some in return too which is always wonderful to help lift your spirits. What a nice way it is to make someone smile by telling them how beautiful they are, it will leave them coming back for more. Don’t flirt with someone you are not really interested in dating. It’s not fair to lead someone on, only to inevitably dash their hopes later.
9- Smile, it is contagious,
It really is and it’s scientifically proven to be great for raising the serotonin levels inside of you as well. Smiling is the most powerful flirting tool available. Everyone loves to see a pleasant, happy face, and a smile sends all the right messages.
Clues that someone is flirting with you back include: increased eye contact, preening behavior such as straightening their clothes or touching their hair, singling you out for conversation, standing or sitting close to you, or touching you.
Go slowly when flirting and watch to see if the other person seems interested in you. Watch their body language and see if they send signals that they are interested. If they do, consider moving things to the next level by asking them out on a date.
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So enjoy yourselves, have fun, be kind and considerate and let there be dancing, let there be laughter and most of all let there be love.