Do you fancy spending time alone rather than with other people?
You’ve probably noticed that our culture tends to prize extroverted, sociable people and not those who prefer isolation. People who fall into the latter category are regarded as loners because they fancy their own company and get bored of people. They aren’t scared of silence and don’t feel the obligation to maintain empty conversations with others just because silence between people is inappropriate.
Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely.
Here’s what Annie, a woman who describes herself as a loner says:
I don’t think being a loner is a bad thing. Back in school I would sit on my own and read. The “popular” girls would offend me and even throw stuff at me. But I loved the time I had on my own. I could do everything I desired, whenever I wanted and the way I wanted. Spending time in my company also made me understand a lot of things about myself.
Psychology says loners don’t need acceptance.
A psychologist at Wellesley College stated that loners are comfortable spending time by themselves because they don’t feel the need to be accepted by everyone.
According to Jonathan Cheek, some people have a lower need to connect with the others. There’s a huge difference between the loner-by-choice and the enforced loner. Those who prefer the comfort of their own company over social events are the loners-by-choice. However, affection for solitude could also derive from a mix of innate tendencies and experiences such as not having a lot of buddies as a kid or growing up in a family that prefers privacy.
However, people who prefer being alone often have several unique traits that make them stand out from the rest. If you possess more of the characteristics listed below, there’s a high chance you are a loner.
Read on to learn which seven exceptional personal traits make every loner such a unique individual.
1. They value time.
If you prefer your own company, you are more likely to value your time and the time of others. As a result, you can manage it very effectively. You tend to avoid wasting time holding grudges, feeling jealous, and putting effort into vague plans or arguments. Loners also admit that other people’s time is valuable, so they are almost always on time. They have enough time to understand what are their ambitions in life, what matters most to them and to think about the lessons they’ve learned from their past. If they make a mistake, they can set aside some thinking time and identify the source of the problem. That prevents them from making the same mistake twice.
2. Loners are aware of their self-worth.
If you are a loner, you will typically spend time in quiet reflection. Like Annie explained this is the time you get to know yourself very well. Loners have better insight into their strengths and weaknesses and are more likely to accomplish their goals because of this. Being alone gives them the opportunity to think a lot about life. Research has shown that people who like being alone don’t seek the admiration of others. Alternatively, they assess their self-worth and personal progress using their criteria rather than those imposed by culture or society. For instance, a loner seldom estimates their success by the size of their wage. They are also more likely to appreciate inner beauty over physical appearance.
3. They make the best friends.
People who love being alone don’t like small talks and don’t appreciate shallow relationships. They would rather spend time with a few true friends instead. They tend to compensate for the fact they don’t have a lot of buddies with building a few meaningful and long-lasting friendships. These people are faithful and can keep secrets because they appreciate personal privacy. Loners also understand the meaning of setting healthy boundaries between themselves and others. They are able to realize when their friends need some time on their own. Loners wouldn’t tell the whole world details about someone’s private life either. They are empathetic friends who are ready to give support when someone they love needs it.
4. Loners are open-minded.
People who prefer spending time alone can think of many different possibilities to find the most appropriate solution to a problem. That makes them more or less open-minded. On the top of that, they are sensitive which helps them become aware of their and other people’s emotions easily. Since they are open-minded they never judge others and give advice only when asked to. That is why they develop strong connections with friends and family.
5. Loners waste less time with others and spend more time focusing on their own goals and ambitions.
They are strong people who would always try to tackle their problems alone before asking for help. The Washington Post interviewed Carol Graham, a Brookings Institute researcher who examines the economics of happiness, about the fact that more intelligent people spend more time on their own.
“The findings states (and it is no surprise) that people with more intelligence and the capacity to use it … are less prone to spend so much time socializing because they are focused on some other longer-term objective,” Graham stated.
6. It takes courage not to stand with the crowd.
People who love spending time alone know how to beat their fears and flaws. That’s why loners tend to be stronger than others. Someone with the confidence to try new things or travel alone is a confident person deserving admiration.
7. Loners accept others’ flaws.
These people are real psychologists who can understand people’s concerns and flaws very well. That is because they spend a lot of time getting to know themselves. Loners are very well aware of the fact that nobody is perfect. They know that we all have positive and negative traits and habits. And as a result, they would forgive people’s mistakes more easily. That doesn’t mean that they are ready to let other people hurt them. Not at all. A loner could always make others realize if the had offended them.
Here’s the opinion of Annie:
I used to think I was some freak because I would prefer reading a book to having a chat with someone. I thought I was a weirdo that couldn’t fit in. However, as I got older, I understood that loneliness could be much more meaningful than superficial friendships. When I am alone I have the opportunity to learn new things. I communicate with fewer people but I can build solid friendships with them. And I’m a hell of a lot better than all those people who feel appreciated only if others acknowledge them.
Do you think you are a loner? Have you ever met one? Please, share your experience.