Emotionally taxing relationships are the toughest to get out of, and we need to stop shaming people who are stuck in them.
They wish they could leave, but it isn’t easy. Try to be more compassionate and understanding towards them.
Abusive relationships are the hardest to get away from because abusers never show their real faces in the beginning.
They don’t hurt or damage you at first. They start off as being gentle and caring. They act like they are the perfect partner. They pay attention to you and make you feel appreciated. Like you are all they’ve been looking for.
Months, even years may go by before their poisonous nature comes at you with full force and leaves you choking. You realize that you have to get out as fast as you can, but you aren’t able because you cannot imagine a life without them.
The abuse is so strong that it breaks you apart and makes you addicted to suffering.
If you let them know they’ve hurt you, they just dismiss you by saying, “I was just fooling around,” even though both of you know they weren’t. So you keep on fighting the same fights and you there doesn’t seem to be a way out. The situation steadies only to swiftly turn rotten again and it happens time and time again. You feel like your life is a recurring nightmare.
They criticize your choice of fashion, your look, they don’t accept your friends…
And you try to be different for them, thinking that once you do that everything will change for the better. Unfortunately, you change so much that you are hardly able to recognize yourself anymore. You give away your identity and that makes you cling to them even tighter.
Your abuser treats you worse by the day and every painful word makes you feel like a thousand needles going through your body. The pain is real.
But you keep making excuses for them by saying that they aren’t to blame because they didn’t really mean it. Or, you just start putting the blame on yourself instead, saying “I really shouldn’t be so sensitive. I am overreacting and acting foolish.”
And then come the painful days and nights when you are in so much pain that the only thing you really want to do is run away and never turn back, but you cannot. You feel like you are tied to a chain and cannot find a tool to break it. Because you feel as if you are nothing without them and you need them to survive.
Those who get trapped in such relationships aren’t able to leave the abuser until they find themselves again.
They cannot hope to walk away, especially if they don’t have a place to go to. They need assistance and support. And they will continue to need it for a while even after they’ve managed to escape the madness they were part of.
Hence, if you are acquainted with a person who goes through something like this, let them know they can always count on you. Assure them that they aren’t alone in this.
Let us be thee for each other. Let us help one another. We all deserve a happy, loving life.
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